How to have a civil conversation with aging parents about living closer to medical facilities and to me to help important appointments?

I am assuming that you HAVE spoken to them in a civil manner. That's about all you can do. The end of life is all about loss, and people will try to put that off as much as they are able and for as long. It's an option. It will make it much more difficult for you when you have to do it all at once with the collapse of one or the other or both. But other than that you can hope they begin to see the light slowly and will move closer to you. My brother lives in one part of my state with no support and I in another, and both of us are older. Not a good thing, but then I am not about to tell him what to do and where to go. He is already feeling all the losses so badly. So I would just cross the bridges as they come, and meanwhile insert your "I sure would feel so much better having you more near me, and I sure would love if you would come and visit and see if there is anything here, near medical, that you might like. Please let me know if you ever would consider that because I would love having you closer." Good luck. For myself I sometimes wish I were NOT so close to medical, in all truth. If you get my meaning.

Sunflower48, I can understand your concern, I would want the same thing if my parents had lived so far away.

Unfortunately, it will be extremely difficult to convince your parents to move because they know their town like the back of their hand. And they probably know everyone in town, too.

Moving to some place new would be too confusing, especially if your parents were still driving. They would be leaving their friends. That would mean new everything that is important to them.

The only way to have your parents move is when there is a medical emergency, rehab, then into some type of assisted living.

Back many decades ago, my Dad's parents lived way out in the county on a farm. Eventually it was time to move to the "big city".... well, actually more like a small village with two stop-signs. They bought a smaller farm. They lived and died in that village. That is what they wanted.

I'll tell you what happened with my parents. They currently live about 18 miles from their doctor/hospital/pharmacy etc. Getting rides is not that easy. But, we happened to visit a townhouse (family friend lives there in a GREAT area, over behind the country club, quiet, cul de sac) that is about 1 mile from the doctor/hospital/pharmacy and no trouble to get a cab, Uber, ride, etc. They fell in love with the place and say they are wiling to move in one next door!!! I'm ecstatic and hope they will follow through. So, if you can get them to visit a place that has what they need, they may see how it's possible. Especially, if it has large doors, handicap accessible bathrooms, one floor, etc. Of course, if they have no friends or family there, I'm sure it would be daunting.

What are the other seniors who live that small, rural town doing for their medical transportation needs?