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im sorry I don't have any quick help answers. my mom lives in assisted living. I will be dealing with this soon I think. she stopped washing her hair when she showers. so I had to order weekly shampoos at the AL beauty shop. (more $)and this isn't a perfect answer cause my mom insists she can do it herself!
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cflovel, the older one gets the more exhausting it is to take a bath... it can feel like a day at the gym. I know I am noticing that for myself as I get older. I rather spray myself down with Lysol :P [haven't tried that yet].

For many older people, it is the fear of falling and there isn't a soft place to land. If using a bath tub, it can be difficult to step up high enough to get into the tub. If it is a shower, well there is claustrophobia and the water from the shower head hitting on an elder's thin skin that it can hurt. Bath benches in the shower work well, my Dad liked using his.

On the market are baby wipes and adult wipes. These can be used between bathing. For an elder, if they are not incontinent, once a week is enough as many elders don't work up a major sweat. I remember growing up that Saturday was bath night.

For hair washing, I have heard of these shampoo shower caps that require no water. I believe it was used on my Mom when she was in long-term-care.

If your Mom is in her 80's and 90's, I remember my Mom liked to use a rose dusting powder... it smelled really nice :)
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My short answer is to make it as pleasurable, stress free and as comprehensive as possible. Aim for making headway gradually. Make it more like a spa treatment then a forced hygiene routine. Took me quite a long time, but I finally devised a routine that works for us.
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Am I being crazy with this line of thought...mom gave up baths long ago, perhaps because as she got older (now mid 90's) she lost the strength to get in/out of tub. So she would do showers, and now is not doing that. The shower is quite dated with old greenish tiles and a marble built in seat...does anyone think a re-do with lighter color and a nicer light above would be more welcoming? We've already updated the faucets and the shower is top of the line with a hand-held added in hopes it would help her if the issue was water over the head...
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PS...I'm afraid of those wipes...that someone with dementia to do the task alone would potentially not use those either, or if they did, they would put them down the toilet...
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