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My mom has a diagnosis of frontal lobe dementia. The family has witnessed this for years and at her last appointment her physician said it was stable. My dad passed away in March of this year. Her dementia has escalated terribly. She's inappropriate in public, unable to organize or maintain her home or yard. She hires people to help her, but her home is a wreck of papers, old mail, catalogs, etc. I am not her medical power of attorney, my sister is. How do we get her into an assisted living facility? Is there a way to force that issue? Her kitchen is a mess, she's not eating properly or taking her medication. Can I call someone or an organization that can come in and determine that she is incompetent to live alone? I am so stressed because in speaking with her she makes me think I'm the crazy one. HELP! I have no idea what to do.

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Who has financial POA? Financial and Medical are two different things. You will need Financial to get her into an AL or NH. Medical comes in when you need to get a doctor declare her incompetent. Get her evaluated by a neurologist. Write down everything she does. Take pictures of her home. This way he knows what questions to ask.

At this point an AL may not take her unless they have a Memory care section.
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All of this same thing happened to us too. Mom diagnosed just like yours, she started going to the neighbors at night to have her Mom come and get her to go home, etc. Could not manage meds or drive or cook either. A very nice Mama but she would never "be put someplace." We had to wait for a fall. I know how you feel because I was at my wits end too. Bless you! Sorry I don't have a better answer!
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I agree with Margaret about talking to sister. You can't force someone to go someplace unless you are the legal guardian. Even if you have d.p.o.a., a doctor has to say that she needs a N.H. or has Alzheimer's. Lets face it...I like many others here had to just wait for the fall. Anything happens, you call 911 and start blabbing to the hospital social worker. Either the fall happens, or doctor has to be involved. You will need the d.p.o.a. on board too.
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What does your sister think about it? If she doesn't agree with you, it is much more difficult.
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