As said, there are no independent caregivers. The IRS does not allow it. Now you may find an agency but they cost a little more than a private person. They pay the employee and are responsible foe payroll deductions.
Check out the website there are some companies that will screen employees up to handling payroll for a caregiver from their website. I think that is one. Course it would be more expensive than hiring one off the street, but many safeguards are in place to protect you and the caregiver.
Nobody helps. I’m the youngest of four children, only daughter. Our parents are no longer married and my father is super healthy. My mom recently moved (8 months) to a senior facility. At first, she qualified for independent living, scoring a 19 on the MOCA exam and qualified as MCI. I’m the least financially stable of all kids and the one who lives the closest. Mom moved in between my closest brothers and I so shoe could rely on all of us. We have one brother who says “mom has been sick for years” and another who spends time with her, but like lunch and grocery shopping (if I’m lucky) average, every 3 weeks for a couple of hours. I’m single and have a pet. I am also the main caregiver and I’m tired! My health has suffered and no one wants to help. It all sounds good, but when you get to it, nothing changes. Mom’s home is for sale (finally!), I have been checking on it for the 8 months and tossing semi hoarded items and she even donated her work clothes after retiring about 4 years ago. I can’t continue to help her with sun downing, shopping, everything. She doesn’t participate in any activities, has no appetite, and had a difficult personality before her dementia symptoms started. They’re worse with the initial shock of leaving her home. She doesn’t want to hire a caregiver. She doesn’t think she needs to move closer to any of us, it’s us that need to move. She doesn’t want to live with any of us, “that would interfere with our lives” and “we have animals” (dogs). I don’t know what to do. She sundowns, doesn’t eat, gets confused, is delusional, sees her deceased family members, sees ants in the corners, etc. She is going to an MRI next weekend and has not been officially diagnosed. We know she has amyloid plaques on the brain. How do I make her see moving near me will make things better, or that she has to make some sacrifices? My conscious won’t let me just leave her in the senior place, but I also need rest. I’d like to be able to stay home one day out of the weekend. I’m busting butt and I’m tired. This evening I’m spending the night with my dog at her senior facility apartment. Help!
Sky, I would copy and paste your response to a separate post. You may get more help that way. Posting in someone elses thread, you may not get answers.
I’m the least financially stable of all kids and the one who lives the closest. Mom moved in between my closest brothers and I so shoe could rely on all of us. We have one brother who says “mom has been sick for years” and another who spends time with her, but like lunch and grocery shopping (if I’m lucky) average, every 3 weeks for a couple of hours.
I’m single and have a pet. I am also the main caregiver and I’m tired! My health has suffered and no one wants to help. It all sounds good, but when you get to it, nothing changes. Mom’s home is for sale (finally!), I have been checking on it for the 8 months and tossing semi hoarded items and she even donated her work clothes after retiring about 4 years ago. I can’t continue to help her with sun downing, shopping, everything. She doesn’t participate in any activities, has no appetite, and had a difficult personality before her dementia symptoms started. They’re worse with the initial shock of leaving her home. She doesn’t want to hire a caregiver. She doesn’t think she needs to move closer to any of us, it’s us that need to move. She doesn’t want to live with any of us, “that would interfere with our lives” and “we have animals” (dogs). I don’t know what to do.
She sundowns, doesn’t eat, gets confused, is delusional, sees her deceased family members, sees ants in the corners, etc. She is going to an MRI next weekend and has not been officially diagnosed. We know she has amyloid plaques on the brain. How do I make her see moving near me will make things better, or that she has to make some sacrifices? My conscious won’t let me just leave her in the senior place, but I also need rest. I’d like to be able to stay home one day out of the weekend. I’m busting butt and I’m tired. This evening I’m spending the night with my dog at her senior facility apartment. Help!