I had a close call earlier this year when Mom, her caregiver, and I went on vacation and she suffered a terrible fall that left her in the ICU 1000+ miles from home. A planned one week away from home turned into more then 3 weeks. It was so awful, stressful, and unbearable. It is hard enough to have her in the hospital when I am at home and have my car, my house, my pets, etc. to have as a base. There was a moment in the 3 week ordeal where I thought she wasn't going to make it and my thoughts went crazy about the 2 brothers I haven't spoken to for over 5 years. I had ZERO interest in contacting them. They have brought her such pain in the last 5 years. They have destroyed me at different times with their lies about me. The worst is that they are both 100% sure that I am to blame for our family's dysfunction. Over the years I have let most of their crap go, but if Mom is having a bad day and going on and on about how they acted years ago it is hard to separate her problems with them and mine. My therapist and one of my brother's therapist has told us NO CONTACT. What are others on here thinking they will do about a parent's death, about them at services or not, about everything that goes on when a loved one dies?
PS About 10 years ago, when there was still communication, I yelled at one brother who hadn't visited, phoned, etc. for months........"JUST DON"T THINK YOU CAN SHOW UP AT HER FUNERAL, IF YOU AREN'T EVER GOING TO SEE HER BEFORE THEN!!!"
Little did I know what was going to happen with this family 10 years later.