I had hip replacement 4 months ago. Unfortunately I need to get my second hip done. I suffered in pain for 9 months prior to surgery. My only support group is my caregiver. She is awesome, but weekends are not good. I am working on finding a caregiver for at least 4 hrs a day for weekends. My husband is lost, doesn’t know me and cannot find normal household things…refrigerators microwaves, bedrooms, bathroom, etc. he has Lewy body dementia. He is very sweet, we have been married for 54 years. I am mentally and emotionally drained since any thing that he needs, when the caregiver is not here is my responsibility. I cannot walk without a walker. Luckily we have long term insurance that covers him for at least 5 years plus savings and a we own our home free and clear. Advice on how to cope?
It seems pretty clear to me that you need to place your husband at least temporarily in Memory Care while you recover.
Can you get your doctor to recommend a rehab stay for your second hip?
How long do you have to wait to get your second hip done? At that point, you should try to go to rehab and have hubby go somewhere for respite care so you can get the care you need. Even if you come straight home, still put him in respite care so you can recover.
Find yourself a weekend helper ASAP. Do you have any leads? Does your caregiver? They often have friends in the business too. I don't really think that 4 hours a day is enough on the weekends. This is a LOT on you and you are not in the physical condition to be able to currently handle it. Emotionally it's very difficult too so more help is better.
Have you thought about the two of you going into assisted living? You could at least have some support - meals, cleaning, laundry, etc.
I agree, find a place that will take husband temporarily. You may find he acclimates well there and he can stay. LD is one of the hard ones. They can become violent and aggressive.
It’s obvious how much you love him but you have to take care of yourself too.
Please consider placing your husband in a facility so you can heal properly. Some facilities offer respite care. This would be a good way to see if this is the best fit for him in the long run.
Best wishes to you and your husband. Take care.
The only other alternative I can think of is self pay home care for all of his waking hours so someone else provides his needs. I say this because you didn't mention any relatives that could come in and fill in the blanks for your current caregiver.
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