Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
In this case, I see your point and agree with you completely. She is being stubborn and not thinking of the future. Thank god you have some brains. You may have to have an outsider present the facts to her and hope she'll see the light. If not, well, sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns. Find a new bright, cheery happy place. She'll get used to it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Hi... My Dad passed away on Father's Day 2016 and my Mom on 1/28/21. I'm an only child.
I'm slowly going through things at their house. It too is "vintage/classic". I have decided that renting the place just doesn't add up also. I have reduced energy consumption by unplugging freezer unit and an extra refrigerator. The utility bills are as low as they can go at this point.
My wife and I are trying to decide if we want to move into that house. The 2 houses are about 2 miles apart.
There is certainly a lot of things that have to be sorted through.
I've decided to take my time. I too, have had excellent offers for either one of my places. I'm in no need to hurry, thank God.
The outside areas, especially the front yard has been my big concern. It was a beautiful putting green type of lawn with straight-edged hedges before my Dad got sick. Then we hired out the work. After my Dad passed, my Mom became very critical of things and of all outside help coming in. It was obvious that the front lawn and hedges were never going to be like Dad's were again. I'm just trying to not have the worse front yard on the street right now.
Good luck ... I'll keep an eye out for further updates from you.
We have some decisions to make, don't we. But while we're deciding, let's take the time needed to reflect as we go through things.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

My impression: you’re 100% wrong, You say “she’s not being supportive” because she sees a different financial opportunity (rental) and is not comfortable with the rate at which you’re disposing of things she associates with her FIL.

Translation: You set a schedule for grieving and she has the nerve to exceed it. You want to sell and she dares to disagree … because the stock market is a guaranteed income (lol). No wonder she shuts down.

Maybe you stop talking about what you want and listen to what your wife wants and needs. Then work together instead of pulling the only child so it’s just about me card.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Maryjann Dec 2021
Maybe moving on is OP's way of grieving. It's hard to say anyone is 100% wrong. Please be kind.
(2)
Report
See 1 more reply
DarkMatter: My mother owned a home not in the state of either myself or my sole sibling. As I was the one living and caring for my mother for an extended period, I was beyond exhausted. My DH arrived and had great organizational skills to purge out my mother's home, market it and sell it through a realtor in my late mother's town. It wasn't without glitches, but we got it accomplished.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

It is hard for family when a loved one passes - so many fond memories tied to every item the person used. Each of you might keep a rather large box of items you wish of momentos of your parents, GoodWill or Salvation Army will take the clothes as well as much of the contents of the house. Secondhand/thrift store owners will often buy the contents of a home for a set price and haul it away for you.

The home is not a person or your parents. It would be a shame not to allow another family the joy of creating wonderful memories in that home.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

For me, when my mother passed away this year, I couldn't wait to sell the place. She didn't have anything of value except the property - everything else was cheap, or if it was expensive it had been broken and reglued or taped with who knows what so of no value. Most of everything went to the dump, some of it was donated to non-profits. And, I personally, lost my things in a disaster. The house - yes it had memories, but the house isn't the memory - the memories live in the heart. You don't need the 'things' to have the memories.
You could rent, but the costs, time and effort involved -plus having to be 'on call' as the landlord (do you REALLY want that phone call on Christmas morning or at 2am Thanksgiving when they call you to tell you the furnace doesn't work and the pipes just burst?) It is a lot of work with no guarantee (think back to last year when renters couldn't pay rent, the landlords couldn't evict but the landlords had to keep paying the mortgages, insurance, property taxes, etc).

So, my vote would be to sell the place now (sell high) and get the cash now. Before the economy changes, which is will start doing so in 2022. Will wife be happy - probably not. But if you don't sell now, you won't be happy.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

A lot depends on the state. I live in California and would just about do anything not to have to rent out a house here. It's impossible to get people out unless they are willing to go. But I digress. Please see a mediator. I agree that it's your house and your decision when it comes down to it. If it's painful or unpleasant or just doesn't make sense financially, why keep it with all the headaches that could come with potentially bad renters. We know someone whose mother put something like concrete down the sink because she had caulked something in the shower and rinsed it all off down the sink. HUGE expense. People don't have to be evil to do something that could ruin your house. See why I would need a mediator if I were married to your wife? It's easy to be sold on your own side.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

It sounds like you have thought it through logically, and are doing the right thing.

It sounds like your wife is in deep denial.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I am in Canada and I am sure inheritance laws are different, but please talk to a lawyer before you do anything.

Here in Canada an inheritance is not divisible in a divorce, unless the asset or funds have been commingled with family funds. In your case, if you keep and rent the house, and the net rent comes general family revenues, you would be commingling the funds.

If you sell the house and keep the funds in a separate investment account, it is not considered to be a family asset in case of divorce.

I am not saying your marriage in jeopardy, but it is important to know the laws where you live.

Next suggestion, please hire one or more helpers to sort through and pack up the house. It will make so much easier for you.

If you decide to rent it out, I want to point out that your math missed an important point. If in 20 years of renting you will earn what you could sell it for today, you have not taken into consideration what you could sell it for in the future.

I am a financial planner and in situations like yours there is value in talking to a fee for service FP to look over the numbers. They do not have to prepare a full financial plan for you, just two scenarios of keep and rent, vs sell and invest.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I am not an only child and I am not faced with selling a childhood home so I can only imagine how hard it is to let go. But, I am dealing with affairs for two parents in their 90s who do still own a home and therefore can relate to the business side of your dilemma. In my opinion it’s a “bird in hand” situation if you already have a buyer - sell it. Your wife should respect your decision since it was YOUR childhood home and since keeping it and renting it will certainly affect and complicate your life (and I think hers too). Take some trips - do something fun with some of the money and invest the rest. Renting can work but comes with headaches and is not always the reliable income stream she may think it will be. Talk it out and work it out as a team if you can - but in the end it was from your parents side.
Good luck.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

If the tenant calls at midnight for a leaking whatever or something broke….who will be responding? Your wife? Probably not. Sell
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter