I'm married with five adult children and 10 grandchildren. I lived away from my parents since I was 19 yrs old. 14 yrs ago my mother manipulated my father into leaving the home they retired to in Arizona to move to Pennsylvania where I live. She didn't ask anyone's thoughts about it. She has tried manipulating my children and they aren't it, which has caused problems in their relationship with her. She doesn't apologize for her behaviour, she says that's just the way I am. She has alienated most of her family, but I'm the one constant. She's been diagnosed with dementia, she's depressed, angry and sometimes suicidal (which may be another manipulation), she's in denial about her decline and has grandiose plans and wants to bully her way into getting it.
I want to put her in her place, but as with my Dad we don't want to deal with the fallout. As soon as she sees someone with something or an experience, she has to have it no matter all cost. She only thinks about the "Now" and not the future. She feels like she's running out of time and wants to have and do all of her life'so goal (i.e. going to Europe, going on a cruise, etc). She is in no condition physically and mentally to do any of those things. My Dad and I don't want to deprive her of the enjoyment of life, but someone's got to be practical. When she starts in with her pity party and want to lay the facts out to her, but it will turn into a major depression and threats of suicide....what do I do :/ Caregiving on a daily basis with Mom and her behaviour is driving Dad to the end of his rope, I feel really bad for him. We've tried a Senior Center, but it doesn't cater to her and make her the center of attention.