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My mother is overseas with my sister handling my deceased fathers estate. The money was suppose to be distributed to the children of the family members. Basically passing to my sister, cousins and I (around 10 grandchildren). My mother wants me to have a form notarized passing my rights to my mother to collect the money. At first it seemed fine to me because she needs the money, but I realized my sister has opened joint accounts with my mother. Do I have a right to question where this money is going after she dies? Where are you depositing the money? She’s telling me it’s not a lot of money.



My mother is not able to walk around very well and she is feeling sick overseas in a Airbnb. I don’t want any hostility but I’m upset that my narcissist mother and sister has done this to me through the years. I have always worked hard through my career, my husband and I have 3 houses and all of the success means I should sacrifice more for them. I paid myself through school while my sister has had a paid tuition. It really bothers me. I think god is looking over me because my career is starting to take off after being a stay at home mother. Do I accept that and not say anything? All this anxiety is causing me stress, do I keep my mouth shut. I don’t know what to do.

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If I were you, I'd run it by a lawyer first just to get a feel for what's going on or might be. It might help you decide how to proceed.

We received a simple document from a sister of my husband's long after his mother had passed. My husband immediately ran it by a lawyer, which I thought was kind of silly since it came from a sister who is very nice and his mother had died eleven years earlier.

I guess when it comes to money, someone can be nice AND cagey. Lawyer said don't sign it--it stated that we received a six-figure amount of money upon her death when we didn't.

In another family matter, by consulting a lawyer, we were able to get a ballpark figure on the amount of money in question. I don't know how that'd work with your sister and mother being overseas, though...but again, a lawyer could answer that.

You just might find out that it's not worth the aggravation. I'll pass on a bit of advice someone once gave me about such a situation: If you think you have stress now about it, wait till you move forward to fight it.

Best to you.....
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If they keep or steal the money, consider it money well spent and ignore them. It doesn't sound like you need it or it's worth the fight.
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Agree with del356, consult a lawyer. Although, if your mom is in financial straights how much money are you actually looking at? If it's a negligible amount of money, is it even worth the effort? Let them know how you feel and the resentment you hold for having to pay for college while sis got a free ride.
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For me, and given--as you said--you are doing well, I guess I would give these funds to my mother is if she is not doing well. You say it is a small amount and if it is being divided between so many it likely is. I would just do it without much thought and walk away. Why allow stress when all is going so well in your life? I do agree with others that you should first know via an attorney how much the money is.
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LizzyFizzy, this is most unusual. Usually when a spouse dies, the whole estate passes directly to the surviving spouse. Or were your parents divorced? If not, I am so surprised that your Mom didn't get anything. Becoming elderly can be extremely expensive.

My heartfelt sympathy to you and your family for the passing of your father.
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Yeah I question why not just his wife and children inherit.

With what you have written I would not sign anything over to Mom. Let probate there run its course and have the money wired to you. Thats what was done for us when an Uncle died in England and we inherited. You can then set up an acct with Mom as POD if something happens to you. You can then give her money when she needs it. Or, set up an annuity or trust where she gets so much a month. Setting u up as beneficiary.

So tell them no, you will set something up here where you are able to oversee the money. If you get flack tell them the money is yours to do as you please. BTW, is sister handing over her money?
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Dont sign anything over to your Mother. Let it play out in the legal system. Something here seems fishy.

My Dad just passed and my Mom was his sole beneficiary. It is very odd cousins are listed? I know Dad was overseas but if he had a will you are allowed to request a copy be sent to you.

i would just ignore this request and move on. If you inherit that is great but don't stress yourself out over this. Could it be that your sister is up to no good?
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