How to deal with a daughter that won't get Covid shot? We got mad at each other. I am 79 and feel she should to protect me and others

Keep YOURSELF vaccinated and mask in her presence, maintain social distancing from her. There is very little else you can do. We cannot change others; we can only protect ourselves.

You do realize that the Covid shots are not an end all be all right? You can still spread it and get it even after being vaccinated, so quit putting this rift between you and your daughter, and love her UNCONDITIONALLY, as us parents are supposed to do with our children.
Is this really the bridge that you're willing to die on with you and your daughters relationship? I hope and pray not.
If it makes you feel better, than just leave your mask on when you're around her, but like AlvaDeer said, you can't change others, only yourself.
And quit living in fear, and start enjoying your life and your family!

I am sorry your daughter is being so very wrong-headed. The vaccine has been proven to work in preventing deadly disease in most cases. Vaccines do not generally prevent disease 100% (much like the flu vaccine) but often abate its symptoms. The vaccine for COVID=19 went through the usual three-step clinical trials. And yes, she should protect you and others. At the end of the day, the only way we are going to contain the virus is through vaccination. That being said, if you want to continue to have an in-person relationship with her: Get yourself vaccinated, wear a mask in her presence if you wish to see her, and keep a safe distance when in her presence. You can also meet her outdoors where there is less of transmission risk than being in a closed area. Keeping yourself safe is not living in fear anymore than wearing seatbelts means you're afraid of being in a car.

I say cut off in person contact with the unvaccinated.

You let her have her opinion on it and don’t bring it up again. She’s an adult free to decide for herself. That said, you don’t have to be in her presence if and when it makes you uncomfortable

You make your choices (I assume you have decided to have two shots, yes?), and daughter makes hers.

Let's just hope she won't be sorry - God forbid she should be given that "proof."

What's she got against it, just out of interest?

My whole family is vaccinated. We simply chose to believe the science and also, both DH and I are immunosuppressed. We did it for us and for the kids and the grands.

My kids won't let the un-vaccinated g-parents see the grands. They can SKYPE or talk on the phone, but they are not welcome in their homes until they've been vaccinated.

My SIL, the doc, has 2 very stubborn parents who refused vaccines. They both got COVID and got it BAD. The mom should have been hospitilized but wouldn't go. She's going to be a 'long hauler'. SIL fears. He was SO ANGRY with his parents for their political beliefs that the communists were behind all this. He just saw the science (he has a PhD in Virology!!!) and we discussed it as a family once and all of our side got vaccinated.

Unfortunately posts like yours inevitably attract comments from the faith not fear crowd 🤨
A lot depends on your previous relationship dynamic and how often you actually spend time together but on the whole I think there is no benefit to keep bringing this up, she's more likely to dig in than capitulate. I certainly wouldn't burn any bridges over this but I wouldn't back down from reasonable precautions either - if unvaxxed daughter and her whole unvaxxed family are spending every spare moment among crowds of like minded people I'd not want any prolonged, close, indoor contact with them either. If, on the other hand, other than not being vaccinated your daughter is reasonably cautious/courteous then I would not hesitate to get together (with whatever precautions seem reasonable for your area).

The "not proven", huh? You've got one of those on your hands and I'm sorry for you.

Here's how you handle this.

If she lives in your house and refuses to be vaccinated, throw her out.

If she doesn't live with you do not allow her to come into your house. Observe the same rules for her that we all had during lockdown before there was a vaccine.
If she wants to visit, it will have to be by phone or video call until she's vaccinated. If she wants an in-person visit with her father or you then she will have to be outside and visit at a window. No exceptions.
Then tell her she'd do well to take the advice of the CDC and the Mayo Clinic on the vaccine. Not go by the asinine total nonsense found on a QAnon discussion board, Fox News, Facebook, or the total bullsh*t circulating around the yoga studios or holistic, new age healing and wellness centers. Make sure to remind her that essential oils and aromatherapy can't treat or prevent Covid, if she's one of those flakes that goes in this direction.

Refer her to the CDC or Mayo Clinic website.

That's all you can do.

There are people on both sides of this issue. Each person gets to decide for themself if they will or will not get the shot. And the 2nd shot. And the booster, etc. But none of us have the right to demand anyone else get it.

Then it's up to each of us to decide who to have contact with and under what conditions. If a line is drawn in the sand, be prepared for the consequences of that. Which could very likely be the end of your relationship as you know it. She probably didn't want you to get the shot and didn't make it a hill to die on.

Life is full of risks of all different kinds. Everyone has different levels of risks they are willing to take and we all need to respect the rights of every one of us to choose our own path.

Well let's see. My 70-something year old cousin is 'fully vaccinated' and hasn't left the house for the past 18 months, pretty much, and is living in fear inside of her apartment. She did, however, go to church a few times when it was deemed 'safe' to do so, after she became 'fully vaccinated', of course. She then contracted The Virus, after being 'fully vaccinated' and wondered how such a thing could be possible? She insisted the 'vaccinations' would prevent her from getting The Virus but lo & behold, she was wrong!

She lived thru The Virus even though she was Fully Vaccinated, but has now been told by the visiting nurse to wear TWO MASKS when going out, if she does go out again, b/c it's Dangerous Out There, even for those who are Fully Vaccinated and have Recovered from The Virus and have Natural Immunity and Antibodies Built Up.

So she's staying in her house again for God-knows-how-long and watching church services on TV.


Your daughter is not 'protecting you' by getting Fully Vaccinated b/c she too can contract The Virus afterward. You've been Fully Vaccinated so if you do get The Virus, chances are, your case will be less serious than it would be if you weren't.

See your daughter and live your life. Let your daughter know you love her and stop allowing a stupid 'vaccine' which is not even really a 'vaccine' at all to come between your and the daughter you love. Just b/c the MSM and the news channels are telling you to treat the Unvaccinated as Lepers does not mean you should. Think about the common sense of such a thing!

Life is short. Don't let anger and fear stop you from living what's left of it.

Does your daughter at least respect your position? Is she willing to visit on your terms, which for me would be only outdoors and even outdoors, if there's a chance of close proximity, then with everyone masked? We have family members who continue to refuse vaccination, and they know that they are not welcome in our home for indoor visits. They don't hold it against us, but it means there are several people who live out of town who we haven't seen in over 18 months because they can't stay with us.

Sorry your daughter is so naive. I always have to laugh at those who never knew anything about medicine pre-Covid are now experts on the subject. The fact that the CDC and other governmental agencies do not release vaccines without extensive research -- even on an emergency basis -- seems to have been lost on them.

I guess you have to do what you have to do. As others have suggested, visit outside only, or wear a mask whenever you're around her. If she wants to visit someone who's vulnerable due to co-morbidities, too bad -- it'll be through a window.

Eventually societal pressure and exclusion from basic services like school, work, and shopping will bring a lot of these folks around. It's sad that childish behavior has brought us to this point, but there it is.

Your daughter has a right not to get vaccinated you have a right not to allow her in your house. If you do allow her in, you have a right to ask her to wear a mask.

I waited to get my vaccine to see what after effects there maybe. My BIL is a Dr. of Immunology. When he got his, we got ours because we know he researched before he got his. We had no side effects. But I know that there is no guarantee that you will not contract the virus. If you contract it, you are not suppose to get real sick and be hospitalized.

You set ground rules.
She does not enter your house.
You do not enter her house.
If you are someplace together you wear your mask and ask her to do the same.
If you are invited to a gathering choose to be outdoors. If it has to be indoors either wear a mask or choose not to attend.
Your daughter is no alone there are many people that for one reason or another choose not to be vaccinated. And there are many people that choose to get the vaccination. I assume that no one but me has been vaccinated so I always wear a mask, I wash my hands often, I use a hand sanitizer when washing is not possible. My concern is protecting myself, what others choose to do is their business.

I wonder how many people bother to research HOW the COVID vaccines actually work. Do your research and decide for yourself. If you decide to educate yourself, be sure to research "spike protein" and "mRNA" as those are essential components of the COVID vaccines.

Nobody should be forced to undergo any medical procedure against their will.

Did you know that the unvaccinated that are being hospitalized and dying include those that have been vaccinated with the 1st shot.

I think attacking people, belittling them, calling them names and other crummy behavior is exactly what is intended by the media and their opinonated reporting.

If we judge others and separate because of this, they win.

Science is proving that those infected by contact have a better immunity to any variants, this information is available on the CDC and NIH websites.

It should be a personal decision and people should not be shamed into violating their own bodies or forced into accepting an injection that has NOT been proven to be safe or effective.

Do the research on why Pfizer's CEO had a fit that Biden passed a law that there could be no patent on the vaccine.

We are being lied to and mislead by the big 6 and we need to stop Lettings them separate us from our loved ones based on their reality.

If you believe that the vaccine is an effective, proven protection then why worry about the unvaccinated? Could it be you aren't sure you are protected? Think about this people!

I haven't had the vaccine. My doctor recommended that I not have it because of other health issues. A good friend's wife was fully vaccinated. She caught the Delta variant and died within 48 hours. her husband also fully vaccinated got the virus and was hospitalized. There have been several cases in my area with vaccinated persons getting the virus.

My husband and one son both got Covid during the winter. they both have long haul syndrome. I'm not sure what one is supposed to, but I wouldn't risk upsetting my daughter over a vaccine that may or may not work.

Does every question that mentions the pandemic have to deteriorate to a battleground? NONE of this is helping the OP. Stick to helpful comments or SHUT UP!

(yes, I'm reporting myself, hopefully this thread will be shut down like all the others)

It's up to the person whether or not to get vaccinated. She and you can wear a mask when she's around you. An N95 mask would be best for you because it has a a filter.

Don't let this destroy your relationship. There are other ways to protect yourself. Like masking, standing a few feet away, meeting outside and so on.

There are people who are still not going out because of fear. They have chosen to stop living.
We need to be careful, but also live.

It's unfortunate that the world has become so divided on this issue. Are we now a world where you are right cause you had the vaccine and wrong cause you did not? Or vice versa.

I gave in and got the vaccine. I wasn't going to cause I too have fears of what the vaccine could possibly do to me in the future. But I eventually weighed the pros and cons of what the vaccine could possibly do to me down the road and what covid could do to me immediately. In the end it was no contest. But having said this, I respect everyone's decision to do what they think is right. It's now a personal decision on my part whether I want to hang out with anti vaxer's. It's a personal decision whether they want to hang out with me as well. I hope it never comes down to people being forced to do something they don't want to do. I guess time will tell.

In the meantime as CWillie said. Let's try to be civil about it all.

OP - if you want to protect yourself and you believe in the vaccines, and already got vaccinated, then you're already protected. If you want to be sure, then get the 3rd booster shot, or the 4th, etc. The more the better, right. All that miracle drug...

It is silly to say someone has to inject herself with chemical so you can be protected. Makes no sense. Like saying you need to eat/drink because I'm hungry/thirsty.

Great advice, Alvadeer.

Jannyfa, just a suggestion - would you feel happier if your daughter agreed to do a lateral flow test before she comes to see you? These take half an hour start to finish, they're completely do-it-yourself with no lab tests or reporting involved, and unless she's been made so anxious that she believes the sterile swabs carry secret transmitters that will sit in her nose and send her thoughts to some sinister new world government agency they can't possibly do her any harm.

It's not an ideal solution because LFTs only pick up rampant infection, and then only in people who do the test properly, but it might be better than nothing for giving you peace of mind.

After that, open the windows and sit easy.

You do not see her unless she is vaccinated. And there is plenty of proof the large majority of those with serious illness are the unvaccinated.

You really have to ask yourself what is really going on that they want 100% of the population vaccinated when Israel has already proven that vaccination does not stop the spread and may in fact cause the variants and spread. Why no talk on boosting natural immunity and hand washing which actually is more effective to stop transmission than a dirty mask that people keep touching the front of to keep it pulled up around their face?

I have a real problem with the censorship in the USA in regards to this virus and the obvious propaganda pushes to coerce vaccination.

Not to mention images of celebrities and politicians and so called health experts that tell us to do one thing and are caught doing the opposite.

As you can see in this thread there are people that followed all the rules and still caught covid, those who didn't and stayed healthy and vice versa. I have a real problem with being forced to take something that may give me an adverse side effect that could mess me up for life for something that has a less than 2% transmission rate.

Not to mention the faulty PCR test that can be easily manipulated by upping percentages on the testing parameters. Look up Rice University for an example (I think that was the school that had all the false positives). Plus the fact that even the CDC can't seem to keep their own narratives about this thing straight.

And for those who support the vaccine mandates and never ending covid tests remember that when you get tired of taking their booster shots and decide you dont want to anymore you will be considered unvaccinated and those mandates will apply to you also. Pfizer is working on a daily covid pill. This will never end until we say enough.

Every person has a right to try and protect themselves from harm but your right to do so ends at forcing me to inject something into my body that is proving to be not as effective against the disease as they are claiming.

I would like to add that ventilation is a major factor in the spread of covid. If you meet someone outdoors or in high ceiling rooms with good ventilation, your chances of infection are less than if you are wearing a mask in a standard 8' ceiling room with little ventilation. Masks help most when the infected are wearing a mask (preventing the air from being saturated with covid molecules from their breathing) than from the uninfected wearing a mask, although that helps too.

In my extended family, we had a child under 12 get covid, have a mild case, and recover. The child under 12 who shared a bedroom with the infected did not get covid, neither did the child under 12 living in the adjacent bedroom. The infected child wore a mask after the infection was confirmed and did not share a bedroom during her infection. The bedrooms did have their windows open at night for ventilation and once the infection was confirmed, cross-ventilation with the use of a window fan was implemented. We were fortunate the weather was good; however, if it was colder we would have ventilated the unoccupied room periodically.

BTW: In my part of NE TN, 99% of the people hospitalized and ventilated for covid are unvaccinated; the average age is 57 and almost 40% of confirmed cases are requiring hospitalization this time around. In the cases of the vaccinated being hospitalized and ventilated, there are usually some "special" circumstances involved. For example, my cousin's 84-year-old FIL suffered complications of diabetes and had a kidney transplant 5 years ago so it's believed the immune suppressant drugs he took as a transplant recipient prevented the vaccine from taking effect.

My extended family has a few anti-vaccinators too. I understand the "they should protect me" feeling but we're operating under the "endure what I cannot control" principle. In general, the vaccinated only see the unvaccinated in-person outside on our porches while the younger children and venerable adults are kept away from in-person contact. Each person has the right to choose not to be vaccinated without being vilified; however, each person also has a right to choose the risk level they will accept in their own life. So choosing to be unvaccinated in our family means you also choose to be excluded from in-person contact with our venerable members.