How to convince a loved one to go to rehab after hospital visit?

My mom (74)was just in this boat with Step dad (will be 84 in Jan, with severe COPD). He was in for 10 days after a terrible COPD episode, and only out of bed for about 20 minutes, twice. He couldn't stand for any length of time, but insisted he wanted to come home.

She talked with the therapists and social workers, behind his back, and explained that she would not be able to help him, physically, get around, and if he fell (quite likely) she would likely end up on the ground if she tried to help him up (He's about 6 ft 5 in, and she's barely 4 ft 10 in these days!) She then asked them to guide him to making a choice for rehab . . . and asked if they couldn't get him to agree, that they pretty much tell him straight up that he was in no shape to go home and they couldn't release him to go home -- which rehab would you like us to find a bed for you in?

Not sure which approach worked, but he went to rehab.

Of course, by day 2 he was whining about how he was "Just fine" and saw "no reason to stay here, I can do just as well at home!" But . . . he was already there :) So he stuck it out until he really was stronger and really could do well at home (but he whined the whole time, lol)

Best of luck, it is so frightening when they won't do what is best for them, and by making that choice, they make life so difficult for us - or even put us in danger of our own injury. {{{Hugs}}} your way, it's a tough situation to be in!

I agree with talking to the staff and letting them know that you can not take care of him at home in this condition.

You may also have to tell him this as well. After my mom had surgery, I said, no you can't come home until you can get in the house on your own.

He hasn't been out of bed because, in my opinion, the hospitals use rehab to get their strength back. Is part of the problem you can't care for him unless he is mobile? Could he do home therapy. To me if its a strength thing, my Mom did better back at the AL than she did in rehab. She did have Dementia. Therapy in rehab is only 2x a day for maybe 2 hrs total. The rest of the time ur sitting around. He/she may do better in at home with therapy coming in.

I have never been in rehab but my Dad and Mom have. Its depressing. You can refuse it.

Thanks for your responses. The whole thing is on the back burner now ‘cause he’s really confused, which is why he went in in the first place.

He has already fallen at home a couple times. We’ve been lucky neither of us has gotten hurt.

I toured a rehab place today. It WAS really depressing. But they’d work him harder than they do at home. 😓

Go tour several rehab facilities first before deciding on which one to choose. I didn't do that and wound up putting my mother in a 5 star Medicare rated place I wouldn't board my DOG in. Took me 5 days to get her OUT of there and transferred into a great SNF for her remaining rehab. If the place you saw was depressing, find another. But bear in mind he's not moving there....its quality PT and OT you're after, nothing more. Whining and wanting to home goes with the territory, as does not wanting to go to rehab to begin with. Then again, nobody wants to get sick and go to the hospital, either! This isn't about what's wanted, but what's needed to get back on ones feet without creating a crisis for the OTHER.

The Right thing is never the easy thing, is it? Your loved one will do fine in rehab and so will you. Good luck