Cannot get him to his doctor appts. He doesn't feel like going he won't go. Any persuasion on my part gets him angry. Never know what his mood will be like the next day. Trying all the strategies I have learned. Hard to be around him with body odor and unkind remarks. I want to take care of him, but being shut out.

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My mother has vascular dementia and at first she wouldn't bath, stay in her room all the time, was verbally abusive and didn't want any help. After having along conversion on how the Dr could make her feel better and how I couldn't live that way anymore. I finally talked her into letting me go to her Drs appointment were I explain everything to the Dr, he put her on meds that helped a lot. She started to bath more, stop being verbally abusive, and came out of her room a little more.
So you either get him to a Dr or start thinking about getting him into a place somewhere eles. The thing I notice and (the research I did) with vascular dementia the person gets tired very easily. Their heart is not pumping the blood all through their blood normally.

As hard as it is you have to remember it has nothing to do with you and it is not your husband it is the disease. And he may never really come out of his room completely. Dementia effects people differently. Some people never stay in their room, while others you can't get them out of their. He is not shutting you out because of you. My mother does the samething. But I gave her some time than I started talking to her about seeing her Dr.

I hope this helped. Good Luck!
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It sounds like you have your hands full.

He's not shutting you out, he has dementia. The dementia is the reason he refuses to see the doctor and why he gets angry and why he won't shower and why he makes unkind remarks. It's the illness, it's not him. And it most certainly isn't because of you and what you're doing or not doing.

Your husband may need a higher level of care than you're able to give him right now. You're his caregiver but you aren't being allowed to give care. It isn't working because of the dementia.

I urge you to consider an assisted living facility for your husband. He's not thriving at home and that is in no way because of you. Again, it's the dementia. And it will only progress.
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