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It's weird sort of, that I'm asking the same question that I've replied to many times! But.....my stress levels are so high right now. I'm in college (online) part time, due to graduate December. I've worked really hard to earn my Associates degree in office administration but beginning last semester, its became a lot to keep up with. The stress of watching my mom diminish slowly and succumb to this horrible lung disease. I have huge anxiety surrounding losing my mom and afraid I won't be able to function after the fact. I'd honestly do anything for my mom and I have sacrificed my life a lot since she was diagnosed back in 2014.We have lived together since 2009 but her health went downhill in 2014-15. She has fell repeatedly, and in rehab twice and in hospital twice with double pneumonia. I always worry about her falling and we have a walker that she uses. I'm not even sure what I'm asking for, or if I need to vent. I think I need someone to say your doing the best you can. I really am trying. I maintain entire household, bills, errands, doc appointment and raising a 17 yr old son. Lately I just feel so stressed, anxiety, and depression, which I take Zoloft for. Part of my issue, is that I don't have any balance for time for myself. I get an hour here and there to hit Walmart but I really need an evening out, a weekend get away, something, anything to help ease stress and anxiety. I'm going to try the adult coloring books but I know you all get it and understand. Any stress tips or just positive words of encouragement are greatly appreciated!! God bless on your care giving journey, as well......kelly

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It sounds to me like you need some respite care. You should be able to go out with friends, your son, etc. from time to time and not just be working, going to school and taking care of your mom. You must be burning the candle at both ends which is unsustainable.

Try to find someone that can stay with mom so you can get out regularly. Even once a week for a few hours could be really helpful. You need a break.
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Dianne38 avatar
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Dianne38 Feb 2019
Thanks!! I almost feel guilty for wanting my own time! Your so right, I really am burning the candle from both ends. Been dealing with pure exhaustion lately. Yeah I need some help for sure!
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Just know that you are not alone on this most stressful selfless journey. I care for my grandfather and had to quit my job and am trying to raise 2 girls. I never have time to myself either and dread every single day. I tell myself to try to keep my sanity that I am blessed to have my grandfather and blessed that me and my children are healthy and that we all have a roof over our heads. Its the very simple things that keep me going. Some days it still doesn’t help but we are doing the best we can with our situations. Just know that you are not alone and you are a beautiful person for doing what you are doing. God bless and try to just remember to breathe.
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Dianne38 avatar
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Dianne38 Feb 2019
Wow, sounds like your hands are full also. Nice to know we have others on the similar journey. It can be a rewarding experience and its what real family does. Be there for each other. One day at a time and sometimes, just a minute at a time. God bless you also. Your grandpa is lucky to have you as well:)
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Squeeze in some activity that completely removes your mind from your caregiving role. I got relief by books on CD as I drove to and from work or any time I needed to take a drive. Something that forces you to change your focus.

Good luck. I know this is hard.
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Dianne38 avatar
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Dianne38 Feb 2019
I just ordered a book I've been wanting to read! I love to read, but haven't squeezed it in much the last few years, but time to change my focus, like you suggested!! Great idea:") I'm taking all the tips in and going to try them all. God bless.
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Dianne, you are doing the best you can for everyone but yourself. At the age of 17, your child is old enough to sit with Grandma for a few hours. No personal care required, just sit with her. Then you go out; to the bookstore, the coffee shop, the salon, wherever. Don’t accept any attitude. Your child is old enough to realize the facts of life and pitch in.

I’m sure your mom knows, on some level, how much you love her. But, you need to love yourself too.
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Is she willing and have the money for respite care? That would be good. You need that time for yourself. Remember, you are doing your best. Please take care of yourself, and find things to do that you enjoy like reading or walking.
All the best
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My God. At some point your blood can’t be sucked out any more. I’ve devoted the last 3 years to dementia. I’m done. My life matters too. My mother asked me yesterday. Do you want to put me in a nursing home. I didn’t lie. I said yes. She s had her 4 th fall in 2 years. Going to wound clinic tomorrow. She said I won’t go. I said , so you want to kill me? No one can be on call 24/7. I. Can’t do what 3 nursing shits do 24 hours a day by myself. I’m sorry if it sounds cold , I’m not a hospital. I’m one person
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Imo,
Stay away from Wal-Mart to decrease stress.
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Diane, you are doing a wonderful job loving your Mom. This position we are in is so difficult under the very best terms, if there is such a thing. I too love my Mom so much and would do anything for her. But, I still feel the need to refresh. We don't always have that opportunity in this labor of love we do. But, I want you to know you are doing an amazing job. You will get through this, you are a very strong person. I know at times we feel so week, but look at you all that you do and still trying to complete school, which I have no doubt you will. Just hang in there and know that you have a tremendous strength and God will see you through it all. HE is the only way that I get through everyday. Lots of prayer helps.
I will keep you in my prayers. It is going to be okay.
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