Follow
Share

My biggest headache in taking care of my 82 yo Mom who has early dementia is making her understand that I WANT to help her. She still has enough sense to realize she shouldn't drive (which is good) but still needs some social interaction, otherwise she just sits & watches TV. I visit with her one evening a wk & offer to take her shopping etc., take her to all of her Dr. appts., and each Sunday, trying to make her understand that I want to take her to church on Sunday. Something she has done for many yrs. She is so much happier when I bring her home just with that little social time. She even admits how much she loves to go. But the continued battle and frustration I have with making her understand certainly wears thin on me. I know I have had the same conversations with her every weekend, like Ground Hog Day! Any suggestions on ways to help her understand its OK for her daughter to help would be appreciated.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
This is such a simple point that I'm not sure you won't already have tried it; but when you are setting off for church or to go shopping, tell her that you are going and you'd like her to come with you. Take it for granted that she'll come, e.g. "time to go, the service starts in thirty minutes" rather than making offers or suggestions - if she's really not in the mood, she can always say so.

And, probably this will become more important, stop discussing it and just do it. Planning and thinking ahead become increasingly difficult for people with dementia, so the less of that you expect your mother to do the better.

Most of all, drop the idea that you can help her understand indefinite concepts such the rights and wrongs of accepting help from one's daughter. As long as she gets her socialising and her activities, you don't need her to agree that it's right for you to help her, do you?
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Is she on an antidepressant? My MIL was an absolute homebody and always felt guilty when family tried to help with anything. Your mom may be getting hit with two things right now. 1. Getting old and can no longer look after herself. 2. Feeling depressed and angry because of #1. I know I would be.
I had a private visit with her doctor (if you and mom haven't signed a HIPPA form, do it asap so the doctor can talk to you about mom) about her obvious changes. See if a low dose antidepressant can be added to mom's other pills. We didn't tell my MIL what the pill was truly for (folks of their generation think people that are depressed and on meds are broken). We told her a 'therapeutic lie"--that the new pill was for help her memory. It's not a complete lie, as folks that feel better mentally tend to think more clearly.
It made ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD for Mom's outlook on life and willingness to let others help.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter