I brought my mom to live with us several months ago. Along with her I also have her existing care giver come to my home while myself and my husband are at work. I have to continue to work now due to the added expenses. My mother has quite a healthy savings and some nice investments. At the present she has has a monthly income of $4,800 due to a loan I took from her to pay off our home in which We pay her $800 a month for the next 3 years. She will be loosing $2000 a month in April as my husband bought my father's business out when he retired. April 16th we will make our final payment to her. This will reduce her monthly income to apx $3,000. The problem is she pays apx $1,800 a month for her caregiver and resents that. In addition to that she is paying my brother's rent (he is 43, lived with my mom, never married and never paid her a dime) has a good job, healthy stocks and a fat 401K. MY brother is planning on retiring a millionaire by taking a monthly allowance from her. He is over 1/2 way there. My mother does contribute to my home by buying her share of the food. It is still costing us apx $450 a month in extra utilities and amenities. My mother is a fall risk and I am stressing, basically emotionally sick about leaving her alone. My mother does not want to use her assets or investments for care giving. I would rather completely support her by working rather than leave her alone. My daughter is getting ready to go to college and we exhausted most of our retirement money when I took a year and a half leave of absence from work to care for her apx 18 hours a day so my brother could work, sleep and go out. I have tried to explain to her that I have to recoup my losses and put my daughter through college and we are struggling with the business at current. We are going weeks without a paycheck in order to not lay off any of our emplyees, our health insurance just increased to $2,500 a month and things are just really tough right now. This just creates the guilt trip she puts on me when she tells me I am throwing it in her face. I know she can't be left alone but, I have to work point blank as we just don't have enough money to save and support her in the lifestyle she is accustomed too. I am beside myself and just don't know how to make her understand this. My brother only comes around at allowance time and my mom feels it is me that should make the sacrifice as I have a husband who works and can support the situation and my brother is single and without a wife and kids. The problem my husband can no longer support their situation or financial agreement. B How do I get her to understand that she may have to begin to draw from her investments for the caregiver? JFTR she is 100% mentally competent. I know if I put her in ALF it will end our relationship or for lack of better words...make my life a living hell! My mother does not understand what it is like to struggle. I am having nightmares about her falling and my stress levels are like nothing I have ever felt.