How do I take my mom's cat away from her?

Follow
Share

Mom lives in a memory care unit that allows pets as long as the resident can take care of it. Mom is not remembering to leave down water for the cat and is mixing kitty litter with food. This cat is like one of her children. She loves it so much. How do I do this? Do I tell her in advance or does the cat just come up missing one day? I cannot take the cat but I have found a good home for her. Help! Any ideas how to do this?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
28

Answers

Show:
1 2 3
Wonderful to see a happy ending! My mother had a cat and desperately wanted another little dog but knew she couldn't manage it. When I moved to care for her for four years we adopted a minpin x jack who was constantly in her lap or by her side and even slept in her bed. My mother is now in a NH and the dog and cat now live with me, my old lab and 3 cats out in the country.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I am so happy I found an awesome home for mom's cat. I know the cat gets spoiled with lots of attention. Mom's disease has progressed enough that I was able to divert her attention every time she asked about it.. I take my dog to visit her and she calls it her cat. I fretted over it so much but all worked out for the best for all concerned. Thanks!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Hope the cat can get POA stat
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

aint no damn cat dumb enough to eat kitty litter. ask the AL to help mom watch after her cat. their care is supposed to be customized and flexible. the cat can drink out of the toilet and bum food from the other patients. the last think id do is remove that cat from the elder.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I'm in this same situation with my mom's cat. As her POA, it was possible to pay for someone to care for the cat while she was in rehab due to a broken hip recently for a while. However, the tally is now up to $1200 and I know she will need that money again soon. Sparky is a sweetheart and he was left alone several times over the past year before I became her POA. My mom's health issues have become lengthy and the rehab facility has said that they will not release her to go home because she now has dementia, vision problems, balance problems, and other. I know that it will hurt her for me to find the cat a good home but I also feel right in my heart that it is best for the cat too.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

jangirl - you have made the decision to rehome the kitty and you have done it already.

EXCELLENT! GOOD FOR YOU!!

I have directly or indirectly care taken 8 people with dementia and one person with ALS. I have also done volunteer animal welfare work (spaying/neutering, rescue, placement) for 40+ years. As the caregiver or POA in charge, I believe the hardest processes that you have to do involve things that take away the independence of the patient.

For me, those have been taking away the driving privilege, making decisions about what and when to do with pets and whether or not it's time for nursing home placement. At some point, when you MUST make those decisions, especially if you're making them out of love and concern for all involved, it is a bit torturous even when it is necessary. It ISN'T controlling, it is our responsibility. You hold off. until you have to do it, but when the time comes, as hard as it is, you MUST do what is right.

Just like allowing a dementia patient to drive past the time that they should which is a recipe for disaster, choosing to leave kitty in an environment where s/he could be harmed is inviting the injury or death of a living being. The need for your mother to have her kitty is trumped by the potential for injury to her kitty. If she were of sound mind, she would never want her kitty to be maintained in those circumstances.

Congratulations for your clarity and your quick action to take advantage of a beautiful rehoming situation. Keep with your story, your "theraputic lie" and eventually mom will forget depending upon how your moms condition continues to deteriorate, which is the only direction it can go in. If the nursing home has visiting therapy animals, that's great unless it triggers your moms concern about her own kitty.

Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, etc. You just keep on keeping on, doing the best for them under constantly changing circumstances.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

NO time to read all of these replies yet but how do you do it. you dont!!! Hire someone to go in to water and feed the cat for your poor Moms sake!!! That would be like taking a child away from her.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Letting the cat 'go missing' would add a lot of anxiety! Telling her that someone else needs a kitty and her cat is VISITING the other person would keep her from worrying so much about the cat. Every time she asks, you could say the cat is visiting and will be back soon. Maybe the new owner would let you borrow the cat sometimes to visit your mother!

Alternatively, you might do a fact check first. Is the situation really as bad as the nurse is telling you? If the nurse didn't want the cat in the first place, maybe she is exaggerating to get rid of him. Or maybe there is some misunderstanding. Do other residents have pets? What do they or their families say about such problems, or about that nurse? Maybe other families have already found someone to come in and take care of their pets every day, who could do your mother's cat too. Maybe they know some other staff person who would be more helpful than this nurse.

What is really going on about 'litter in the food dish'? There are brands of litter that are made of just recycled newspaper ('Good Mews' brand?) that would not hurt the cat if some were put in the food dish. Cats are good at eating just the bits of food they want and sorting out any trash. Is the cat really in any danger?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Whoops..I'm sorry. I didn't realize you'd found a solution until AFTER I sent you my thoughts. Good luck and blessings to all of you. Nancy
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I hope you'll think more on this. Older folks lose so much, and it seems a shame to take a much loved pet from them. Pets have been found to improve one's life, health, and take away loneliness. I've asked my children never to place me in a hospice or nursing home where I can't have my little dog, and I absolutely trust them to follow through with this. Even folks with dementia know when a loved one is missing, which adds to their frustration, tears, and acting out. I also hate the idea of "controlling" someone who has so little control over things in her/his life. Why not hide the kittly litter in a drawer or something, and have just one bowl for water. A teenager wouldn't charge much for putting new litter in the box and checking on the water every day, and would be extra company/stimulation for your mother. Just some thoughts from me, and I hope things work out for your mother, her cat, and you. Good luck.....Nancy
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

1 2 3
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions