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anonymous828521 Asked September 2018
How often must I visit my mother at the assisted living? (I'm tired of her complaints & criticism).
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Unpleasant weekly visits are wearing me down. (She has always been demanding & critical). My happiest adult years were when I was not in contact with her at all. For 5 years now I've managed her finances & buy her clothes, but I'd be so relieved to not see her (or hear her b*tching) every week. Maybe cutting down to one visit per month would be enough for now. Thanks.
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4 Answers
Ahmijoy Sep 2018
Once a week or less. If she’s not in a good mood the day you visit, then leave. That’s what I did. You are not obligated to listen and be responsible for that stuff. It really ever ends. You can’t fix it. Just leave. It’s about all you can do. It’s what I did and she never even remembered I was there.
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anonymous828521 Sep 2018
Yes, I see what you mean. Thanks.
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CantDance Sep 2018
Given your mom's negativity, visit as often as it takes to determine her needs are being met. More often than that just reinforces the habit of complaining. When I show up at Mom's MC, all she sees is a receptacle for her grievances. I visit once a month or so (unannounced to MC) to make sure all is well and do what I can for her, but that's about all I can take.
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anonymous828521 Sep 2018
Thank you
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lkdrymom Sep 2018
I visit my father once a month. That is all I can take. Start cutting back to once every other week. If she gets nasty make it once every three weeks. What people forget is that she is in assisted living. Her needs are being met so you don't have to be there for her. You go because you WANT to go. And if you don't want to go...well....
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anonymous828521 Sep 2018
I guess that's true:)
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gladimhere Sep 2018
There are no musts. You do what is right for you. Mom may even have an easier transition if you do not see her as often. The facility will figure it out, they have seen everything. They will contact you, if needed.
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anonymous828521 Sep 2018
Appreciate response:)
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