I'm a long-distance caregiver for an elderly cousin with middle-stage dementia. A few weeks ago, I moved her from independent living to assisted living in the same continuing-care community. The move was an emergency, so we just moved the essentials at that time. But next week I'm going back to pack up her apartment and vacate it, and I'm debating how much to let her "help" with this move. I'm afraid she is going to want to supervise, and if I let her back into her apartment, one of two things is going to happen: 1) She is going to decide she wants to live there again (and her doctor says she can't) and/or 2) She is going to get embroiled in the minutiae of the move, and slow things to a virtual halt. I have only three days off from work to get things sorted and packed; would it be unkind to keep her out of this process? I will obviously ask her what she wants with her, though I'm a bit afraid that even that is going to trigger a chain of events that will make it impossible to get her moved. If anyone has been through this before, I'd be interested in hearing about your experience!
I would not involve her in packing her belongs for the move to AL. As suggested, pack some items that she has mentioned as having special meaning or sentimental value to her.
Put her name on EVERYTHING that is being taken to the AL. Does the AL have iron-on labels that they or you can put on your cousin's clothing?
I noticed when Mom was in the AL her room had not been dusted for a while. When I asked why, I was told an expensive figurine had been broken by the maid while dusting so they told housekeeping not to pick up anything while dusting. I told them I understood that but the window ledge was dusty as was Mom's headboard. Most of what Mom had was scarves on her dressers and what figures there were were on top of the scarves. Could dust around them.
Really, you should be able to separate the good from the bad.