My mom is currently in a nursing home and I am not happy with the care she is getting. I thought if the nursing home is getting paid why can't I take care of her in my home
Hi Deb. I will try to explain without the personal asides. I have to take habby to dr and do some other things. I'll write later. Thanks for your response. The closest to this tornado for me was Hurricane Ivan. Some are saying what I did, it was actually worse. Thank goodness it didn't tear up the entire Gulf Coast like the hurricane did. Sounds as if you have an important, decision -making day coming up. I'll be thinking of you and hoping it comes out well. Chari
Hey, Chari, maybe I should have looked at your profile and seen where you were from; I did know about the tornadoes, not too terribly far from me, have a sorta relative little closer to you who I think was actually there, somewhat wish I'd known, youngest and I went down after Katrina, might could have come been some help if needed, been there, had them here about 5 yrs. ago, glad you're ok, we were/are too from then, but the area just below us was almost totally destroyed as well; I was actually at my dad's when they came through; that same youngest I had actually left here with his dad, but of course he was at work when they were actually coming through; I was so concerned but even though he wasn't quite old enough for his license/permit, even, he was old enough to drive and we just happened to have a spare vehicle - an old thing we didn't care for him driving around - mudding, etc. - anyway, he took it and went to a friend's with a basement - dare a policeman to do something, but anyway, he's a big kid, literally, so looked older, so no problem, but anyway, me, too, sick when came home and saw all the damage; fortunately they said our power wasn't off long but also thankfully we had prepared for it from an earlier incident, down to even having a gas light - that they forgot about while sitting in the dark, till I reminded them - duh. Now, didn't really see what you're talking about other than reminder that Medicaid is state dependent, which maybe not everybody knows yet, but hopefully we all do. I at least knew you were just sharing, as I was; we never dealt with Medicaid at all anyway; guess I'm still not sure about your mom; was she in one of those long-term acute care facilities? know they talked about sending my dad to one but guess still don't understand about coverage running out - that is, unless you're talking about rehab, which is what I thought you were talking about to begin with, where you're talking about Medicare coverage - maybe that's what you're talking about that people thought was erroneous because we're supposed to be talking about Medicaid? where at least full coverage Medicare is only 2-3 weeks? but I guess what I wasn't understand was if your mom fell, would that not have reset her clock, but maybe if she didn't go to the hospital? I'm sure that was quite interesting to be with your mom there at the ALF; in a lot of ways I wish my dad had gone. Your description of her reminds me of hub's aunt; I'm really concerned about that situation but my hands have been somewhat tied. Might prove to be an interesting day - hope yours is well, though I'm sure about the tornado, was quite unsettling here as well when we had ours but very thankful as well. So good to hear from you again.
Hi Deb. If you saw anything about the tornadoes and bad weather in the FL panhandle, that is why I haven't been able to respond. I must have busy guardian angels, because we are fine and our home appears to be fine. Some houses and townhouses were totally destroyed, and the residents had to be bussed to churches. It was a mess. If you have FB, CHECK "WEAR TV" and "BLAB TV." Our next-door neighbor has some leakage and some fencing down, and three houses down there two trees sticking out the roof. I was sick when the power came on and I saw how extensive the damage was. We were so fortunate. The length of our posts wasn't what I meant. I felt that someone thought I was giving you erroneous information. I don't pretend to know the intricacies of the law, plus they are different for each state. I was just sharing what happened in my experience. My mom was in acute care long enough for her coverage to run out and in two levels of ALF 5-6 years, and I was there almost every day. I got to know the residents and attended most of the entertainment they had. Some of the residents asked me to help them or I just sat and talked with them. I laughingly told my husband that half of the people thought I worked there, and the other half thought I was my mother's aide. (She has always been petite, and she weighed less than 100 lbs. when she was sick. I am big-boned and had/have put on a lot of weight since the day occurred that changed my life forever.) Hope you are having a pleasant evening. I am still shaken up from the tornado, and counting my multitude of blessings. BTW, you, my other friends here and this website are among those blessings. Chari
Hey Chari, true about our mom's, with the difference that mom didn't actually fall. Feel free to msg me; we do seem to have hijacked the thread but I am, even though don't guess really matters anymore, curious as to why you had to go private pay; that's the part I don't understand, not sure if it would be considered, in that sense, same as hospital; mom was in a small one, so not all were in as acute a need as her, either, but obviously they had 24/7 nurses there but doesn't mean they were in her room.
Definitely love that statement - reality isn't always the way things are - and there were things I definitely weren't told ahead of time, but surely the nurses knew
I am quite concerned about the situation with hub's family but it's possibly reached a point where I can't do anything about it, so somewhat moving on until or if I'm given opportunity again, with possibly closer issues looming. Have enjoyed it; again, feel free to msg me, Deb
Hi Deb. We and our mothers really do have a lot in common, right down to their escaping from their hospital beds. Thank goodness they are both at peace now. I guess the difference was that my mother's fall popped some of her stitches or opened a part of the incision and she was bruised and scratched. I just know when it was going to be private pay for that long, it was A LOT of money. This was a facility where they had acute care patients like my mom (24/7 RN on duty), and they had other levels of patients who needed less care and supervision.
As much as I would like to share more of my personal experience with Medicaid, I think I have overstepped my boundaries. There are more knowledgeable people here who can give you better legal advice and the way things are supposed to work. I am glad. If I had known more when I first encountered some of this, maybe I would have been better prepared to deal with it. Just remember reality isn't always the way things are.
I hope you find an appropriate place for you husband's family and that it is a situation everyone can accept. You are obviously a very compassionate person and are anxious for everyone to be OK. I wish you success and peace in your endeavors. Let's keep in touch. My eye is getting better, just not for long periods of time. Have a lovely day. Chari.
first of all, Chari, don't worry about apologizing for asking about mom; I'm just glad to know it's in my profile about both mom and dad; I think I mentioned somewhere I got active on here again re hub's aunt and uncle, if that's who you're referring to me being in contact with a lot of people?
But I'm wanting to know a little more about what happened with your mom; mine did somewhat the same thing while she was still in the hospital from her hip surgery; she had it on a Thursday morning and Friday night - Thursday night she was still pretty out of it, as in still quiet and asleep; she has - oh, sorry - had, always did - a hard time coming out of anesthesia, her main fear of having the surgery - just said all that to say that maybe on Friday she was still heavily medicated as well and I didn't think of her as being that small but I do think - I believe I was told - they've redesigned the hospital beds such that the rails aren't quite as inclusive as they used to be, meaning it's just easier to get around them; anyway, I'd been staying with her at the hospital but fell asleep, since I thought she was, but - am I glad? - something woke me up to finding her standing on the other side of the bed - I don't think she'd even tried to call for the nurse - when I got to her she said she was needing to go to the bathroom; only thing is, she still had a catheter and was trying to pull it out, now at the time I knew nothing about them but I learned about the balloon thing and how dangerous it can be but I had called a nurse but she got upset with me for letting it happen in the first place but at least she didn't fall and I think she did put alarms down after that but that's all, not sure she did anything to keep it from happening again, but at least it didn't even though I'm pretty sure I did go back to sleep but I don't understand why, in your mom's case, that mean two weeks of personal pay; can you explain?
Hi deb, joannes and LCSW4Hospice. I didn't get to finish last night and might not tonight, but I do want to share what happened in our case with the acute care facility and indirectly health insurance. Mom was three days out of surgery and needed 24/7 supervision, RNs and trained rehab staff. It was a great facility and mom was treated like a queen. If she had only had Medicare, they would have had her up, walking and ready for release in 20-21 days. Since she also had a health insurance Bl/Bs Federal policy, that policy added more days at the end of Medicare coverage. Thus, no rush to get her out. I think I mentioned that I signed her up for an appt. with the beautician each week and a couple of other things that I knew would be private pay. Things settled into a routine. I paid the private pay and it was reasonable. Well, the coverage date was nearing, and the social worker told me my choices and gave me a list of facilities. When I got a two-week itemized bill, showing how much Medicare and the aforementioned insurance had paid, I was amazed! It was astronomical! Here is where my mind gets fuzzy, from the stress it caused or ? Somehow my mom had pulled the chord for a nurse during the night because she needed to go to the bathroom. All of us has had that go now or here feeling. So, being a tiny woman and able to slide between the rails of the bed, that's what she did. Surely she was heavily medicated. All added up to another fall or accident of some sort that caused damage to the hip surgery, which meant two weeks of personal pay. After I got over the shock of such an accident happening in such a well-staffed and secure place and made sure my mom was being cared for, I asked about specifics. When I was told how much the two weeks of personal pay was going to be, I went home to my husband sobbing. My dad had left mom well-off, but she was over her head in credit cards. We are comfortable, but the thought of paying for those two weeks and probably for an ALF and maintaining our retirement plans was overwhelming. So, I asked the social worker about Medicaid. That was an education in itself. As you know, you are allowed to keep your home and car. Mom's assets were my dad's two pensions and social security... When my dad died, mom and I put each other's names on our checking and my savings accounts. Otherwise, upon death, accounts are frozen. We did so with the understanding that, in my will, that money would go to my husband. Being an only child, I would have gotten mom's money anyway. The Medicaid rep. ran mom's assets, and MY accounts showed up. I explained that my husband and I had our money together, but the account in question was mine so that I could keep the rental money from a property that was mine before marriage. We called it my "mad" money. I retired in 2000 and receive a pension, so the "mad" money wasn't used often and was pretty substantial. The Medicaid rep. accused us of trying to hide some of mom's money in my account! I had to fight to keep myself together from worrying about my mom and then being accused of lying...and wondering if I were going to lose my money so that mom could qualify. I told her we could prove that we had put each other's names on the accounts when my father died. I had paperwork that showed the rental deposits as far back as she wanted. I could give her a copy of my will stating the money was my husband's. I told her my work background and that my personal reputation and professional respect were easy to prove. I, who have never knowingly done anything to hurt anyone and with an impeccable background, was being made to feel like a criminal. Worse than that, I felt that the rep. knew that and was enjoying it. I am sure she could have marked that account as legitimate or acceptable, but she gave me a deadline to get copies of the history of the bank accounts and 5 years of monthly statements from the rental property. I barely made it to the bank before it was ready to close and happened to find a friend who would research and make copies of the history of the accounts. He said he had never been asked to do that for Medicaid, because Medicaid had the information they needed or could request a fax. Thank goodness I am somewhat organized, so I dug out the rental statements and put them in a box. After visiting mom and acting as if nothing were wrong, I went home and fell asleep on the couch. This is a terrible thing to think or say, because I would like to think it never happens. I was talking to my best friend, who works with family services, and she asked me what I wore to the appt. I said regular clothes, skirt, top, pumps....she began laughing and asked if I wore makeup. I did. Then she said I was overdressed. I said well that shouldn't make any difference, plus I didn't think I was. She said I was naive, like she used to be. She said no matter how polite and businesslike I tried to be, whoever the rep was saw someone they could use their authority to intimidate. I don’t know? Maybe it was standard procedure and I was so distraught that I misinterpreted her attitude? I am just glad it's over. Mom was on Medicaid for two weeks. Her dr said she could not live alone. Fortunately, we found a great ALF (different from the Memory Care described in another post). We were fortunate after getting mom's credit cards paid off. With her pensions, social security and what I was able to contribute she lived on private pay at the ALF until she passed away. That was my experience with Medicaid, BTW, I don’t know what it is now, but Medicaid would have "given" her $35 for expenses.
My message to anyone considering Medicaid is to read the laws of your state. If you can afford a lawyer to advise and represent you, it would be well worth it. In previous posts, there are also resources that do not charge. Go to the facilities where somone you know might live. Get a tour and a brochure of the facility and read every word of it. Realize that Medicaid takes the income and gives $35 (in my mom's case). So, someone is still going to need to be around for clothing and anything that goes over their allowance. Read everything and make sure you understand everything. At first, some places look very pleasant, but be sure to ask about extras such as laundry, towels, sheets, beauty salon, nail salon, etc. I could go on, but the best way I can explain it is that Medicaid or private pay, it is more than just paying rent...it's like a la carte.
Deb, I hope I have addressed what you wanted. I apologize for asking about your mom. I read your profile and realize that both of your parents have passed. I am so sorry. You sound as if you are in contact with a lot of people. Sometimes that's good and sometimes bad, but you seem to know the difference. Good luck. Write any time. Chari
Deb, it IS good to know about facilities before you need them, because once it becomes an emergency, you would only be able to get into the facilities that had the open Medicaid beds...and yes....as those after me wrote about, some places play games with you!! When my Dad was getting bad, the caseworker and I WERE out looking at facilities for Memory Care....and she was smart enough to tell me that, we needed to only be looking at places that were Medicaid certified, even though we knew Dad needed to be private pay until the money got used up. Her reasoning....with dementia, it gets very hard to move the resident a lot...as they decline with every move....so we should not go into a nice private pay, then run low on money and THEN have to go looking for another facility and HOPE we could find a nice one with an open Medicaid bed in time. So we had identified a place that said they had beds...but then Dad became an emergency, in that we had to get him out of the house as he was becoming aggressive and dangerous toward mom. So he went in for a 72 hour eval, and the judge ruled that he could not go back into the home. THAT means, we find a bed NOW and move him in. Had we not had a place identified, we would have had a day or two to find an opened bed and would have to take what was available and generally what is readily available is the really crappy places! So he was placed, and we were told he was on the list for a Medicaid bed....but we were not too far into him living there when we found out that was a sales pitch to get us in....as they only had 10 certified Medicaid beds and all were filled and their entire memory care was only 20 beds. So they got him there, and then let us know that he might be private pay for years and years!! Therefore, it became necessary to move him anyhow some months later. I learned how to ask the questions....and to insist on the answers.... And basically, the good places will tell you how many Medicaid certified beds they have, and will tell you that once the person is in as a resident, they actually get first dibs on the Medicaid bed when they need it, and the place will work with you on finances to make it happen....but it takes knowing how to have the conversation. I was glad to have a casemanager from the law firm, who had that experience, because I sure didn't! When we were just placing Mom into AL last November, I knew the questions and the answers to expect before I chose a place. She is private pay....and this facility's expectation is that one will be private pay for around 3 years before getting into a Medicaid bed, but once you start as being a private pay, they don't want to lose you, so they help how they can. In this case, we knew that Mom would need Memory Care down the road, so they suggested putting her name on the list right away....pointing out that if she was at top of the list, but not ready, we could decline and she would still be at top of the list for the next upcoming bed etc. They also suggested that we apply for VA Aid and Attendance for Mom, as that would basically also be private pay money, and would help her last out the 3 years before Medicaid eligible. It's all so complicated....and so helpful to have people who WILL discuss the 'hows' and not just play games with us!
HiChari, hope things went well with your eye situation; dad had that done as well. my mom and dad are actually both gone now, but guess I'd been trying to find out for hub's aunt and uncle been working with. Not sure if it's on my bio, probably need to check. It's just now early evening here for me.
My mom fractured her hip as well, maybe why she fell getting up out of her chair, but she'd been needing a replacement for a while before but her doctor wouldn't okay it, but he did then, but since it was still just a fracture and not a full-blown break we still had time to actually plan it, so even though she, too, was in the hospital for just around 3 days, we planned to bring her home and have her rehab there while I went up and stayed with her; they said, even though she hadn't been diagnosed with dementia or anything, that because she was so frail and somewhat confused - at least they thought, sometimes I wonder - story later - that she really didn't need to go in a facility and after reading your story, I think I'm really glad they felt that way - I was somewhat surprised by what you said but fits with a situation she knew about in one and don't think we were thinking about whether we'd have a choice as to where or not and that one I know she was adamant about not going to, where she knew somebody had ostensibly been placed for rehab and never came out and wasn't getting it, so...She had state - not welfare kind - but retirement kind; my dad worked for the state - insurance. One thing that did happen, though, was social worker came in with papers to be signed and mom didn't feel like fooling with them so had her give them to dad, who had always never signed anything without looking it over good, except that a year or so before this he had, which caused a lot of problems I had to get him out of, so I looked at and saw it was to place her in a facility but I couldn't do anything about with the social worker in the room but I looked at mom and she realized what had happened, so when sw left, son/grandson and I went and found the chief of nursing of the hospital; she told us to go find their lawyer while she went and talked to them; well, of all things, we found their lawyer's office all locked up and found he had left town without telling anybody or leaving their papers; however, when we got back to the hospital found they had been able to talk to them and found she was supposed to go home, so then her surgeon's nurse practitioner came in and was shocked to find me there, even though she was the one we'd made the arrangements with; she immediately left and came back with the surgeon himself, who seemed somewhat surprised himself, but think he hadn't been informed and had just assumed I'd just come in for her surgery, never realizing I'd planned to stay; when he realized that he said, sure, she could go home; turned out the np knew my aunt - by marriage - and they had planned for mom to go to a facility they were both affiliated, in the next town over, besides, without her realizing it till too late and expecting me to be gone and not know anything about it either. re life insurance, dad had had them cash in their whole life policies and pre-pay their funerals some time before that, for which I'm so thankful.
As the attorney pointed out how Federal Medicaid is applied is state specific. However. Many local programs are blended to serve the population on this program. It's important to remember Medicaid and Medicare are *health insurance* programs, they do not pay for the *custodial level of care* which is what you are talking about. There is (at least in California) a separate Medicaid based program called Long Term Medical that will pay for a nursing home but that is based on a prognosis that the patient needs at least an LVN to provide and or monitor care.
Hi Deb. I am glad I gave you some things to think about. My mom passed away several years ago. What started her problems, though, was a fall at our (husband and my) home. She was in the bathroon, where they say most home accidents happen, when she fell and broke her hip. That was the evening my world turned upside down for the next 5-6 years. She was in the hospital for three days, then I was given a list of acute care/rehab facilities for her transfer. I took off and checked out the three nearest our house. The one that was cleanest, best staffed and seemed to have the lightest mood (if you can call it that) was the one I chose. I had all kinds of paperwork to do after the tour, and arrangements were made for her transfer. She was not too happy, but she was only a few days out of surgery. So, she couldn't protest too much. All of the rooms had two patients in a room, and she was fortunate to share with a very nice lady. Her stay there was longer than most. That's when I discovered there were some differences in the facilities and insurance coverage! I don’t know about Medicaid, but Medicare covered 20 or 21 days. One of the most important things anyone can do is to dedicate a calendar to their lo's happenings, right down to to date of entrance, conferences, etc...especially financial transactions. Keep a folder with the calendar and every bit of information one can imagine with the caregiver. I wondered why they were not pushing mom to do rehab. I realized it was because they wanted to keep her longer. She had Blue Cross/ Blue Shield FEDERAL. Regular BC/BS adds some days to Medicare's days, and Federal adds even more days than that. The reason I know about this and made the recommendations is because I learned it the hard way. I had been buying Mom's Depends and special toiletries. I also signed her up to get her hair done once a week and for on-campus activities. My mom smoked, so I was also buying her cigarettes. (As an aside, anyone whose parents or los live alone and seem to be doing fine: Be nosey! Tell them you have heard of other situations where older folks needed money and wouldn't ask. When mom was in the hospital and acute care, I decided to make sure her bills were paid. She knew I was doing it, even told me where her checkbook and bills were. When my father had passed away around 10 years earlier, their large home and 3 acres on a major highway was all paid off. I knew how mom used to charge things and hide them in the car until my dad was at work, so I should have helped her if she had let me. I soon discovered that mom had spent every penny of daddy's life insurance and had refinanced the property 2 or 3 times because she let credit cards get out of control. If she hadn't fallen and had to sell her home and property, she would have ended up paying someone to take it! As it was, she barely had enough for a little nest egg, which I insisted she invest so that she wouldn't spent it all. Using pensions left by my daddy and his social security and what I was making at a part-time job, we managed to pay her bills and cut up the credit cards.)
Deb, I am going to have to get to my financial experience with the finances and Medicaid at the acute care and the rest of the ALF later. I had a post-cataract procedure done on my left eye this afternoon. My vision is beginning to blur, which is bringing on a headache. Or, maybe recalling those days I wondered if I would ever endure is making my blood boil?! LOL Who are you wanting to know the ALF for, your mom or someone else in the family? I need to read your bio. and I would know, wouldn't I? I hope you are having a pleasant evening or morning...it's still evening for me. I stay up late.
thank you, Joanne, maybe I need to move now while I can - no, I really do need to find out more about how things are here for the future, but it is good to know that things - at least in a good facility, where I think the real issue is, because if you're on Medicaid, you don't really have a choice, do you? - are pretty much the same
I want to respond to what was being asked about Medicaid residents being treated differently than private pay in AL facilities. My Dad went into Memory Care, as a private pay, because we had too many assets for him to get gov't help but he was not safe at home. He was in 3 different facilities before he was accepted for Medicaid in Arizona. All three were Medicaid eligible when we placed him in the facility and all were very nice places. The ONLY difference that was clear between private pay and Medicaid was that once Medicaid paid the bill, the resident was to be in a semi private room. There were times Dad was still a single person in the semi private room because there was not a suitable roommate....but no change in the costs. Our share of his rental fee was $200 per month. We paid for all personal supplies...lotions, depends, shampoo etc, but also did that as private pay. Medicaid only covered the room rent, and later at the end, they started covering the cost of depends if being incontinent was part of the medical condition. He took part in all the same activities as everyone else did. He went on outings with others....and within the policies for the State Health Dept in AZ, it was REQUIRED that there be no difference in treatment other than Medicaid didn't pay for private rooms. Now, we could have paid more in rent....the difference between semi private and private....and even on Medicaid, he could have been in a private room, but he didn't mind the roommate, and in Memory Care, the residents were not in their rooms except to sleep anyhow. Their little cottage had a living room, kitchen and dining room, and all resident ate together and shared the living room. The bedrooms were furnished the same for everyone, but we could have brought in his own furniture and a tv etc. We did that for the first two facilities, but by the third place, where he stayed for the last two years of his life, he was no longer interested in having his own things, other than his clothes. I think if you have questions about the rules, you can check on line with your state health dept and look under AL or nursing home requirements. Memory Care falls under AL in our state....and there is a difference in staffing requirements and other expectations. And YES...if you smell urine in a facility, you should run away and never consider them! My Dad's facilities, all 3, were clean smelling and fresh and clean in appearance. One was an older converted house that held 10 residents. The other two were franchised facilities...one had AL in the main part, but an attached, closed Memory Care unit...and the last place was 5 cottages, all new and with the same floor plans, each held 14 residents and were staff with 3 staff on days and 2 on evenings and nights. All 5 cottages were inside a locked secured fenced grounds, so residents were never locked in their building, but could go out and walk around, could go to activities in any of the cottages, although the residents were assigned to cottages based on the severity of their dementias.....with like abilities together in one cottage for the most part. In Memory Care, even if the residents were in depends and incontinent, the staff were expected to take them to toilet before and after meals, upon arising and before bed time, and every two hours in between, because the goal was to encourage the residents to be continent. Most with dementia become incontinent not due to physical problems, but only because the brain doesn't get the right signals about a full bladder or bowel. So on their own, they don't sense they have to use the bathroom, until it is exactly time to do it. But with the staff doing the 'remembering' many can stay continent for much longer. So this is different than what happens in some nursing homes. I imagine the two younger girls were together in a room because they were of similar ages and thus would have common interests and things to talk about. I would think that they had some spending money though, even on Medicaid, as AZ had some rules about that too. It was not a problem for my Dad, as his memory was too far gone and all was simply provided for him. I hope this helps.
Oh, Chari, thank you so much; I had actually always felt that way, just that I've heard people express that I shouldn't be concerned because, like I said, they would say they couldn't be treated differently and I am glad to hear the facility itself didn't; does sound it was good they were at least in that one, but I admit I was surprised to learn you were talking about younger people; not sure I would have thought they would have been in a place like that, unless maybe it's just a terminology thing, like I have both a friend's sister and a cousin of mine who are in what they call "group homes", so do you think that would be the same thing? I hadn't even thought about whether they shared rooms or not; I may try to find out - what does that say that I don't even know, hm...however, having said that, honestly when I first started reading, even though you said ALF, I was reminded of two other young people I knew who were actually in nursing homes but that was a while ago, maybe they didn't allow or have either the ALF's or group homes then? again, maybe this is saying something but I didn't really know either one well, so I didn't visit much, but did at least one of them some - actually the other I didn't personally know at all - but did wonder how much either one of them; well, any of them got/get visited - like I don't really believe my friend visits her sister very much, but then some of that goes back into the family dynamics before she was ever placed there; do you think there could have been some of that in those situations, not necessarily saying that makes it any less sad, just saying...not sure exactly in the other situations but do think somehow my friend tries to make sure her sister does have money to go on at least some outings - not sure how that personal allowance thing works, if the facility could - or maybe does - have it, so not entirely sure if she does it out of the sister's own money or if she tries to give her some out of her money, which, at least in her case, wouldn't necessarily be that easy; again, you think maybe that could be some of the issue there? guess I'm kinda amazed; you're willing to work a 2nd job to help take care of your mother? wow - but I do agree; I have seen - or should I say smelled - the difference in facilities, so thankful we never had to do that with my parents because I do fear, considering what they had allowed to happen with their finances - or maybe I should have considered doing what you're doing; honestly it never occurred to me, though maybe it would have had it gotten to that point - which facility they would have had to have wound up at - my mom, especially - though not sure if she realized - and don't mean dementiawise, just maybe financial wise - was adamant she was not going to one in particular, so...but just today I was actually at a clinic for my dil and had granddaughter - maybe way too much so - out walking; this place was connected to the hospital and also their "just" rehab facility; as we stepped off the elevator onto the 1st floor of the rehab she - my 5 yr. old gd - commented on the odor to such an extent we just turned right around and got right back on the elevator and got out of there but I was just so saddened by that, could hardly believe it, that it was so bad a child picked up on it - I am concerned - but, hey, maybe it made such an impression on her she'll take care of me? think? lol - but seriously, I do think about this and do wonder
Hi Deb. The two individuals I was recalling when I posted last night went to the ALF at the same time. I don’t know if they knew each other or not, but they were fairly young, late 20s to mid 30s. They were placed in a room designed for one person, with one bathroom. I was there everyday at different times and spent a considerable amount of time with my mom. I never saw one person visit either of them. Their clothing was limited. They were treated the same by the facility, other than being in a shared room. I don’t know if they had a guardianship or what their situation was. They didn't have money to go on shopping days or outings. They just sat outside sometimes, but spent most of their time in the room. I guess I was thinking how sad it is to be in any facility, with little or no money or family, and see nothing ahead of you except another day like any other. We weren't sure about my second job being able to cover costs for my mom, so I visited some of the fully Medicaid funded facilities while narrowing down Mom's choices to some near me; and, I can tell you they were very, very sad. Most looked like hospital rooms, with two to a room and no personal furniture. They were understaffed, dirty and smelly. Residents were looking for staff, but could not contact any with the emergency chords or trying to walk around looking for them. There was one facility that was so malodorous before I even got to the front door of the building that I didn't bother going inside. What I was saying was to agree with Carol that it is sad how different states provide for elderly care within the context of Medicaid. I hope I answered your question. I will be glad to be more specific if I didn't cover what you wanted to know. It's great to know that people like you are interested now. Can you imagine the situation already starting to grow as the baby boomers need senior assistance?
You are right, Carol; and, unfortunately it boils down to politics and money. It is my understanding that each governor chooses whether or not to participate in Medicaid. If they choose not to participate, of course, the state receives no federal money. When that occurs, the state budget has to accommodate the people who would have been covered. I know that is simplistic. Please forgive me if this has already been discussed. I haven't followed this thread since the beginning. I tried to make the time that my mom was in ALF pleasant for the two of us, and I am thankful that I could. The ALF and the owner were like family, so I have no complaints there. It is just sad to lose one's independence, especially when people have limited funds and family. The ALF accepted Medicaid residents, and I saw some very sad situations there.
It's so sad that some states do well by their elders and family caregivers (MA is one) while many others do poorly and some do next to nothing. Is helpful in finding out state specific information that can lead you to resources. There's always a learning curve but check out this site for starters. Take care, Carol
This question has come up many times. Difficult answer bc we're all different on here...some have jobs, some are older, some have elderly parents living in different states. Some have the capability to earn a wage and some need a paycheck as a caregiver.
Reverseroles I looked into the medicaid waiver programs in New Hampshire. They say:Medicaid Planning - Medicaid has very restrictive financial eligibility requirements. AAAs will help to explain the requirements but will not and cannot offer any assistance in helping families to comply with or meet those requirements.
I am in Mass. I engaged a elder affairs lawyer to assistance in helping me to comply with and meet Mass Health requirements. It was exspensive and it was complicated. Or local AAA manages delivery for us.
Late in my search I discovered SHINE (Serving Health Insurance Needs of Elders) Program ... SHINE services are free, unbiased, and confidential. Here SHINE offices are located locally and have SHINE concelors available through the Councels on Aging. The manager I contacted was a wonderful help. I have yet to find anyone tell me what the full battery of service are or will be. The standard answer I get is we cant tell you until....
I did not select the choices option and get help through agencies that are VETED and Insured etc..... Choices would have meant hiring aids at $10.and change.
SHINE (Serving the Health Insurance Needs of Everyone) is funded by the Agency for Community Living and coordinated by the Massachusetts Executive Office of Elder Affairs in partnership with the Friends of The Milford Senior Center. 60 North Bow Street, Milford, MA 01757, USA 1-800-243-4636,
Someone tell me please HOW to get MEDICAID IN NY STATE. I was promised the MOON by some agency, oh, he said my mother would get hours of care every day, hours!!! This agency lied to my face. I found out Medicaid for at home care is being phased out. Medicaid would pay for a few hours of some kind of day care a week. I don't know if that even covered the transportation to take her there, not that she would go anyway.
I could barely take care of my husband for one week at home. Even with in home care, etc. from Medicare and paid help it wasn't enough. I agree with Pam above that it will kill you especially if the person is bedridden like my husband. I had a horrible time and so did my husband. After one week at home, he went to hospice where he died a few days later. So looking back, I think he should have been in hospice a lot sooner. But who knows this! The in home nurses, etc. didn't really help with that kind of assessment. I had to take my husband to his Oncologist who decided he should go to hospice and he was able to get him in a facility that same day. Which was blessing because he died being well taken care of and not stressed out when he was home.
In NY as of 2014 (the last I checked, medicaid will pay $13 an hour). If you are a 24 hour caregiver, you will be paid for only 13 of those hours. I can't tell you what to do, but I will say it is harder than you can possibly imagine. I'm not happy with the care my mother is getting in the nursing home, either. I hate how much money they're getting paid to "take care" of her. Nonetheless, I would not take her home. I supplement. When I visit and something needs to be done (for example, flossing teeth or changing clothes) I do it. I also hired a sweet nursing student to go in 3 times a week. Perhaps before you take your mom home for good, take her home for the weekend and see how that works. As much as I hate mom's nursing home - and I do mean HATE- I'm grateful to have her meals provided, access to clean linens, and being able to sleep at night knowing she's in a locked unit. No, it isn't much. However, if I didn't have it, it would be much. Please think twice before taking this on. Pamstegma was NOT exaggerating when she said it will kill you sooner than you think. That was quite literal. Please take heed. Maybe try a different nursing home first...
I loved the end of PCVS post sbouting doing this caregiving for your mom out of love. Totally agree. I did not have a good nursing home experience whike my mom was there for rehab and told myself then that i would do my best to keep her home. I was fortunate, I had help the last year which was the hardest. For me, it was an honor to care for my mom. Try and get some relatives or friends to help you out. A few hours for you to take s nap is better then nothing. Accept any offers of help even if not directly involved with the caring of your mom but help with food shopping and housekeeping which will give you extra time. God bless and good luck
I have not read all of the posts but thinkbrhst you are looking for is the MI Choice waiver program. Google it, you will find alit there. I live in Pa and was reading about this in my state yesterday. Good luck
I live in Jackson, TN and my mother is 102 and we have to,pay for sitters for her. I am trying to get some assistance but it seems that she cannot get Tenncare (Medicare) anymore. I have spoke with the Area Agency On Aging, but because she does not have Tenncare, she does not qualify for the programs that she needs. Can someone please help.me. Youngest child
Definitely love that statement - reality isn't always the way things are - and there were things I definitely weren't told ahead of time, but surely the nurses knew
I am quite concerned about the situation with hub's family but it's possibly reached a point where I can't do anything about it, so somewhat moving on until or if I'm given opportunity again, with possibly closer issues looming. Have enjoyed it; again, feel free to msg me, Deb
As much as I would like to share more of my personal experience with Medicaid, I think I have overstepped my boundaries. There are more knowledgeable people here who can give you better legal advice and the way things are supposed to work. I am glad. If I had known more when I first encountered some of this, maybe I would have been better prepared to deal with it. Just remember reality isn't always the way things are.
I hope you find an appropriate place for you husband's family and that it is a situation everyone can accept. You are obviously a very compassionate person and are anxious for everyone to be OK. I wish you success and peace in your endeavors. Let's keep in touch. My eye is getting better, just not for long periods of time. Have a lovely day. Chari.
But I'm wanting to know a little more about what happened with your mom; mine did somewhat the same thing while she was still in the hospital from her hip surgery; she had it on a Thursday morning and Friday night - Thursday night she was still pretty out of it, as in still quiet and asleep; she has - oh, sorry - had, always did - a hard time coming out of anesthesia, her main fear of having the surgery - just said all that to say that maybe on Friday she was still heavily medicated as well and I didn't think of her as being that small but I do think - I believe I was told - they've redesigned the hospital beds such that the rails aren't quite as inclusive as they used to be, meaning it's just easier to get around them; anyway, I'd been staying with her at the hospital but fell asleep, since I thought she was, but - am I glad? - something woke me up to finding her standing on the other side of the bed - I don't think she'd even tried to call for the nurse - when I got to her she said she was needing to go to the bathroom; only thing is, she still had a catheter and was trying to pull it out, now at the time I knew nothing about them but I learned about the balloon thing and how dangerous it can be but I had called a nurse but she got upset with me for letting it happen in the first place but at least she didn't fall and I think she did put alarms down after that but that's all, not sure she did anything to keep it from happening again, but at least it didn't even though I'm pretty sure I did go back to sleep but I don't understand why, in your mom's case, that mean two weeks of personal pay; can you explain?
My message to anyone considering Medicaid is to read the laws of your state. If you can afford a lawyer to advise and represent you, it would be well worth it. In previous posts, there are also resources that do not charge. Go to the facilities where somone you know might live. Get a tour and a brochure of the facility and read every word of it. Realize that Medicaid takes the income and gives $35 (in my mom's case). So, someone is still going to need to be around for clothing and anything that goes over their allowance. Read everything and make sure you understand everything. At first, some places look very pleasant, but be sure to ask about extras such as laundry, towels, sheets, beauty salon, nail salon, etc. I could go on, but the best way I can explain it is that Medicaid or private pay, it is more than just paying rent...it's like a la carte.
Deb, I hope I have addressed what you wanted. I apologize for asking about your mom. I read your profile and realize that both of your parents have passed. I am so sorry. You sound as if you are in contact with a lot of people. Sometimes that's good and sometimes bad, but you seem to know the difference. Good luck. Write any time. Chari
My mom fractured her hip as well, maybe why she fell getting up out of her chair, but she'd been needing a replacement for a while before but her doctor wouldn't okay it, but he did then, but since it was still just a fracture and not a full-blown break we still had time to actually plan it, so even though she, too, was in the hospital for just around 3 days, we planned to bring her home and have her rehab there while I went up and stayed with her; they said, even though she hadn't been diagnosed with dementia or anything, that because she was so frail and somewhat confused - at least they thought, sometimes I wonder - story later - that she really didn't need to go in a facility and after reading your story, I think I'm really glad they felt that way - I was somewhat surprised by what you said but fits with a situation she knew about in one and don't think we were thinking about whether we'd have a choice as to where or not and that one I know she was adamant about not going to, where she knew somebody had ostensibly been placed for rehab and never came out and wasn't getting it, so...She had state - not welfare kind - but retirement kind; my dad worked for the state - insurance. One thing that did happen, though, was social worker came in with papers to be signed and mom didn't feel like fooling with them so had her give them to dad, who had always never signed anything without looking it over good, except that a year or so before this he had, which caused a lot of problems I had to get him out of, so I looked at and saw it was to place her in a facility but I couldn't do anything about with the social worker in the room but I looked at mom and she realized what had happened, so when sw left, son/grandson and I went and found the chief of nursing of the hospital; she told us to go find their lawyer while she went and talked to them; well, of all things, we found their lawyer's office all locked up and found he had left town without telling anybody or leaving their papers; however, when we got back to the hospital found they had been able to talk to them and found she was supposed to go home, so then her surgeon's nurse practitioner came in and was shocked to find me there, even though she was the one we'd made the arrangements with; she immediately left and came back with the surgeon himself, who seemed somewhat surprised himself, but think he hadn't been informed and had just assumed I'd just come in for her surgery, never realizing I'd planned to stay; when he realized that he said, sure, she could go home; turned out the np knew my aunt - by marriage - and they had planned for mom to go to a facility they were both affiliated, in the next town over, besides, without her realizing it till too late and expecting me to be gone and not know anything about it either. re life insurance, dad had had them cash in their whole life policies and pre-pay their funerals some time before that, for which I'm so thankful.
Medicaid does cover LTC, however
Deb, I am going to have to get to my financial experience with the finances and Medicaid at the acute care and the rest of the ALF later. I had a post-cataract procedure done on my left eye this afternoon. My vision is beginning to blur, which is bringing on a headache. Or, maybe recalling those days I wondered if I would ever endure is making my blood boil?! LOL Who are you wanting to know the ALF for, your mom or someone else in the family? I need to read your bio. and I would know, wouldn't I? I hope you are having a pleasant evening or morning...it's still evening for me. I stay up late.
Take care,
Carol
I looked into the medicaid waiver programs in New Hampshire. They say:Medicaid Planning - Medicaid has very restrictive financial eligibility requirements. AAAs will help to explain the requirements but will not and cannot offer any assistance in helping families to comply with or meet those requirements.
I am in Mass. I engaged a elder affairs lawyer to assistance in helping me to comply with and meet Mass Health requirements. It was exspensive and it was complicated. Or local AAA manages delivery for us.
Late in my search I discovered SHINE (Serving Health Insurance Needs of Elders) Program ... SHINE services are free, unbiased, and confidential.
Here SHINE offices are located locally and have SHINE concelors available through the Councels on Aging. The manager I contacted was a wonderful help.
I have yet to find anyone tell me what the full battery of service are or will be. The standard answer I get is we cant tell you until....
I did not select the choices option and get help through agencies that are VETED and Insured etc..... Choices would have meant hiring aids at $10.and change.
SHINE (Serving the Health Insurance Needs of Everyone) is funded by the Agency for Community Living and coordinated by the Massachusetts Executive Office of Elder Affairs in partnership with the Friends of The Milford Senior Center.
60 North Bow Street, Milford, MA 01757, USA 1-800-243-4636,
I am trying to get some assistance but it seems that she cannot get Tenncare (Medicare) anymore. I have spoke with the Area Agency On Aging, but because she does not have Tenncare, she does not qualify for the programs that she needs. Can someone please help.me. Youngest child