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Want to bring my husband home from nursing home. Nursing home and Hospice giving me a hard time. Say I need a Care Plan, but I don't know how much help I will need. I understand he will have to be moved frequently, as he is immobile. I didn't have help when he was mobile, I did everything myself for 8 years. What have others done?

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You will need:

a hospital bed
a variable pressure air mattress
a slide sheet
a Hoyer lift or similar
minimum three slings to fit the lift
a large supply of bedlinen
a portable wash stand
many towels
a bedside commode if your husband is able to sit
reliable supplies of continence care products

When my mother was discharged home from rehab, it was on condition that her Care Plan specified 2 x caregivers 4 x per day. Now that I am seeing life from the other side of the fence, I know that this is called bed care, it will be included on what we call "double-up" rounds, and getting it to happen four times a day... well, you'll be lucky. It isn't just a question of paying for it, either; because no amount of money will make that many staff hours materialise out of thin air.

What happened in reality is that my mother got one carer once a day for one hour, and me.

How fit are you? What *is* your husband able to do? Can he turn, with help? Can he sit up, with help?

What is your hospice provider offering?

Do you have access to other service providers as well?

Depending on how fragile your husband is, he may need repositioning every two hours to avoid skin breakdown, even with the air mattress. If the NH and hospice want to give you a hard time about it, they can at least share with you *exactly* what's on his care plan now. There must be one. Ask for a look at it.
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Homecare Hospice is hard on the family. They are left with most of the responsibility. You had a hard time before the NH placement, this will be worse.

I suggest you leave him where he is. When Hospice is not present, he is still getting round the clock care. What are you going to do if your Fibromyalgia flairs up? Your depression worsens? How are you going to care for your husband when u can't care for yourself?
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I take care of 3 elderly people. One of them is bedbound. I manage. Just learn how to move someone in bed so you don't strain your back. They were supposed to but didn't teach me any of this at the rehab facility so I figured it out myself. It's not that hard. In general, roll the person don't lift. Use plenty of pads on the bed and then you'll be able to slide and roll someone with not much effort. I can change the bed with grandma in it. Roll to one side, change that side, roll to the other side and change that side. Same with clothes. Obviously the same with diapers.

The only big lifting is bed to wheelchair and back again. Depending on how much physical strength you have that may be a problem. But there are ways to deal with that. The CNA at rehab was about half my size and she managed it. That is if you want to make them wheelchair mobile. That's not a requirement. Many people in nursing homes never leave their bed.

I say it a lot. I'll say it again. Get an inflating mattress for the bed. The air mattress will cycle through various cells to prevent bed sores. I only paid like $40 for ours. It's cheap for the benefit it gives.
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You’ll have do pretty much everything for him 24/7 unless you have multiple family members able to help or you hire home Heath aids. Hospice will send out a CNA to bathe him a few times a week and a nurse will come to check his vitals and make sure he has the meds he needs. But the brunt of the work will be left to you unless as I said, you hire help or have family that is able to step in. If you don’t know how much help you will need then do not bring him home yet. The staff is a correct that you need a care plan. Someone will have to be home with your husband 24/7 and be willing & able to provide round the clock care for him. I would think that both the nursing home and the hospice provider can explain to you what level of care he needs. Your profile says you are disabled so I am curious if you can physically take care of your husband? Hospice provides all the durable medical equipment and supplies you need so you don’t actually need to worry about that. Hospice will take care of it.
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Get as much help from Hospice as you can. I had to turn and change my mom. Having them come a few days a week was better than nothing, but I still strained my back a few times. They told me to just put pillows under her and move them to another side the next day. You will need someone to help bath him. You will need a CNA to sit with him if you leave and so you can shop, etc. They told me that I needed two people to turn and change, but of course I didn't so had to just do the best that I could.
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worriedinCali Mar 2020
You will NOT need a CNA to sit with him if you leave. It can actually be anyone regardless of their trainig. And hospice will take care of his bathing needs.
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