Where do you draw the line on the kind of help you want from your kids? I understand we want our kids to visit, call, and step in as POA when needed. However, what about the day to day stuff?
I am doing things for my parents that I never would want my kids to do for me, and I believe my parents would never have wanted me to do for them. But I see them struggling and when I step in they don't stop me. I call almost every day and visit, but I also do things like drop off dinners, clean their house, have ordered lawn service, and have checked to make sure their bills are getting paid. I also have facilitated doctor appointments and interpreted test results for them. And last but not least I have done very personal assistance such as taking my mom to the bathroom, shaved her legs, polished her nails, held a urine cup for a test sample, supplied her with depends when my dad forgot, sent notes to doctors to make sure her symptoms are addressed during appointments, and applied her favorite perfumed body lotion to her arms and legs during a recent hospital stay.
My mom is ill, my dad just has limits on how much caregiving he can do. I step in where I see things aren't getting done. My parents don't ask, but seem willing to accept whatever I offer which has to make them feel very bad.
Even if your kids are willing and able, how much help do you really want from them?