My husband is thinking of trying to get legal gardianship over his parents. They are such a mess. She's crazy and refuses to see the doctor and rages if you confront her. He's lead them into financial ruin. They have a mortgage, they've borrowed against it several times, they are being foreclosed on, filed bankruptcy, give unknown people their debit card over the phone, and eat out everyday; the list goes on. Now we got a call that they drove to tuscon and stayed at hotels on the way for several nights because they ant drive very far in one sitting! She drives- she has dementia - she can hardly see and won't wear her eyeglasses because they " fixed her eyes". How are they paying for this? Credit cards. Why did they go from ca. Desert to Arizona by car? They want to move because there is a woman living with them that's stealing everything and having sex in the middle of the night with her husband- he an hardly walk across the room! ( psychotic) he refuses her anything she wants , just keeps charging everything! they got turned down on a house at a retirement community because they didn't have a downpayment. They were going to sell their house to avoid foreclosure but that been in the we are going to stage for 6 months. It's still not listed. Eventually they will be evicted and no one will take them because of debt and bad credit. They will be homeless. We can not afford to take them in nor can we handle them. Anyway thanks for letting me vent. I'm so frustrated!
I learned here about the guardianship and am avoiding it.
I will have DPOA once they declare incompetency.
WHY on earth would your husband want to get guardianship of his parents? That would make him responsible for them. If he has no relationship with them, he should allow the state to take over the management of their care.
Perhaps you should get your husband to do the posting on here so that we can answer his questions. SOMEONE should call APS and the DMV so that there are outside eyes on these elders.
I suggest you just call them and ask them how they'll get into the house.
I think the question you need to focus on though is how either you can decide to do something about the situation or how your husband can. Posting questions but being unwilling to "go behind your husband's back" isn't going to solve the problems between you, your husband and your MIL.
The issue of how they get into the house seems to me to suggest that your husband just isn't ready to call APS. If so, then it's a waste of time for us to make suggestions because neither of you are going to heed them.
I'm also beginning to wonder if this situation really exists or it's just another inventive person toying with the posters here.
Vall APS on your own. Be the adult in the room, because you see the situation dispationately.
Please do keep your distance. Best wishes to you.
Sorry has stated in that post:
"I haven't called APS because my husband doesn't want to. " and
"They've always spent like they are wealthy. They are stubborn and don't want interference just money. We have said no money. I'm thinking once they are escorted out they may finally be open to suggestions. I think APS could help them but I won't go behind my husbands back. "
So hopefully now her husband will recognize that APS' intervention is necessary and he'll listen to her based on the recommendations of posters.
My first action would be to let them know that you are not available as either caregivers or landlords, period. Then, contact APS and let them be evaluated by a third party with no emotional connection. This way they will get the correct care and you will have no legal responsibility for their actions. Finally, contact the DMV and let them know that she is driving in such a condition. They will order a driving test and she will fail and have her license revoked. This last step will save lives...not just their own, but any innocent who has the bad luck of driving on the same road as they are.