How many of you are still being denied visitation at your loved one's LTC?

Where I am from, we get to do outdoor visits. Wearing masks and sitting 6 feet apart.

My mother’s facility has worked very hard to keep the residents and staff safe. They offer face time visits, offer to help with phone calls, window visits. They have just started porch visits. These facilities are under such pressure. They are blamed when residents and staff get sick, and they are blamed for keeping residents “prisoners” when they put in restrictions so people don’t get sick. They can’t win. All I know is that I am grateful that my mother’s facility has been able to keep the facility symptom free for this entire time. And the staff can feel safer going to work. If there was no staff my mother wouldn’t be able to have the care she needs that I can’t provide to her.

Since I'm in California and the governor here is constantly moving the goalposts, I've been able to "see" my mother exactly once since March -- outside from eight feet away, gloved (why??), masked, and wearing goggles in 95° heat. It was a fiasco, because my mother is nearly blind and deaf as a post. She can't see anyone from that distance, and she couldn't understand me through a mask. I left in tears after five minutes because she closed her eyes which is her signal that she's just done.

I've gone back to window visits, because I can talk to her on the phone and don't have to wear a mask. It frustrates me to no end, though, as a caregiver is in there with her leaning close to tell her something so she can hear, patting her on the arm, and doing everything I should be able to do for her. They aren't living in bubble where they can't catch Covid anymore than I am, and the caregivers brought Covid in there in the first place. They had an outbreak, but it was over in six weeks.

That was in June and July, so why are they still locked down like Fort Knox? I should be able to see my mother!

Sis in nursing home. Outside visits were allowed a couple months ago-huge plastic screen that rattles like mad when the breeze blows, landscaper mowing noise, cars driving by, nearly impossible to hear sis and her soft voice now. they had some staff cases but did not shut down my sister area/visits. But last week had 2 new staff cases, another one this week= FOUR MORE WEEKS of misery for sis and myself. Sis is in her room by herself, she would not be able to turn on the TV or work the phone by herself. Recently sis has not been clean, her nails were nasty with gunk, I could see gunk stuck in her teeth. No one returns my calls about what is going on-been told sis is loosing weight and BP is going up-geee i wonder why people.

It has been frustrating. Mom was hospitalized in early March and then to rehab, nursing home, now she is in a wonderful Memory Care facility. We had been able to do window visits and talk on a phone when someone was available to help her, smartphones are confusing for her.

After she was moved from rehabilitation to nursing care it became much more difficult and we couldn’t use a phone and could barely hear through the window but they were battling an outbreak and being very careful. I kept checking on her so the staff knew we were keeping a eye on her.

At her new home they have been very strict because Memory Care residents have not been isolated or required to wear masks. We have been able, in Ohio, to do outside visits with her inside at a screen door and us outside on the porch. Each resident gets one 30 minute visit a week, 2 people only. We are allowed to window visit but I hate to pester the staff to arrange it.

Next week we start inside visits but everyone has to wear a mask, sit 6’ apart, etc. The only good thing is Mom has such a bad memory that she doesn’t really know it’s been a week since she last saw us.

So stick with it, the rules seem to change day to day and the staff is doing the best they can with all the added restrictions and procedures.

At my dad's assisted living facility the visitation policy is determined in coordination with the Public Health Department. Currently they remain limited to outside, more than 6 feet apart, 1 resident at a time with no more than 2 visitors, all wearing masks AND if there is any Covid in the facility they will be required by the health department to drop back to no visits for a period of time. So, unfortunately you experience seems right in line with what we will experience if any Covid gets introduced into the facility. This facility has had only 2 cases of Covid many, many months ago and this is still the policy because of the Covid that is still circulating in the local area. Is it disappointing? yes. Is it necessary? yes but I strongly support these hard decisions if it keeps the residents and staff safe.

I think the facilities went without 'cases' of COVID b/c they weren't TESTING. Now that they're testing residents and employees, of course they're going to see 'cases' which doesn't mean the person is 'sick', just that they tested positive which could easily be a FALSE positive. The more they test, the more 'cases' they find, that's what's happening here in my mother's ALF too. Nobody is 'sick', just testing positive, which to me means FALSE positives! Panic in the streets. More shut downs and more mass hysteria to deal with, which is getting ridiculous already.

My mother's ALF has been allowing window visits for months now; we go over every Sunday at 1 pm; she sits in the conference room at the window, the care giver calls ME on my cell phone, and we talk to her via the phone. She's literally 2 feet away from us, but the window separates us. They say they are going to start allowing indoor visits 'hopefully soon', but guess what? 2 more employees tested positive but are asymptomatic! More stalls, more delays, more nonsense. But I'm ok with it b/c we do get to do the window visits which in a way are better b/c my mother is mostly deaf. So sitting 6 feet away from her with both of us wearing masks is likely to produce a scream fest with lots of frustration to deal with, and her understanding NONE of the conversation. Sigh.

I vote for false positives, too much testing, and the runaround, all combined with the CYA principle for facilities. While I DO understand their predicament, these elders NEED HUMAN TOUCH from their loved ones again. Period.

I’m in NC and was wondering what was going on too for a long while, but, I get word today that I can go tomorrow! Praying the weather holds. I’ll stand outside the window at the MC.

There's a lot going on right now. That's very interesting about all of those rescheduled dates that peewee is being informed of. I'd be wondering if something fishy was going on or if the facility just plain has bad communication within its hierarchy and the implementation is therefore poor. I do have to say that at least they are contacting you prior to your visit date(s). So many organizations would just let you show up and then not let you visit - no regard for people's time/energy. Our area opened for outdoor visits several weeks ago - one person at a time with distancing and by appointment. Now, it's the same format but no weekend appointments and no evenings. I think the latest visit is at 2:30 or 3 PM. This drastically cuts back potential visitors who can't get there during those times and drastically cuts back the number of available slots, but yet the facility can SAY they are allowing visits. Not sure about the intent there, but it seems like they are wanting to say they offer it, but won't have to actually do it (or only to a limited extent). Some high-quality communication from upper management would help a lot and maybe we could understand better and not be wondering.

PeeWee, my husband, who is a medic, says have the police do a welfare check with you on your mom.

We’ve had 5-6 reasonably successful visits outside, socially distanced, masked, but my LO (and I) hate being cold, so as the north east gets colder, the outdoor visits lose their momentum.

My LO RECOVERED from 3 weeks of Covid, and was shedding the virus for three months after becoming symptom free. The care she received in her MC was as nearly heroic as anything could have been. Her care staff had very little by way of supplies, and no testing in house, at the beginning of the pandemic.

If you hear otherwise, you’re either not in a hot spot OR someone is embroidering the truth.

Runaround; it IS political - trust your gut.

Dear "PeeWee57,"

When I read through your post, I was starting to wonder too if you were getting the runaround. But, maybe with the fall and flu season upon us the staff members are just now starting to get sick especially if your state's school season is back in session and they have children.

We live in the desert Southwest and my mom's new facility had been very fortunate not to get their first case until mid-summer with both a memory care resident (where my mom resides) as well as a staff member. Unfortunately, the resident did pass away and they have had about three more staff members test positive since then. My first outdoor visit was September 7th and I had another one the following Saturday.

I know how frustrated this must be for you and that it's wreaking havoc on your emotions being as fragile as they are. Prior to our facility allowing the outdoor visits, each time a staff member tested positive the residents themselves were being confined to their apartments therefore not allowing dining and activities amongst the residents. I just received an update letter from the Director that they are continuing outdoor visits and have given us the procedure that would need to be followed to do an indoor visit which they hope to be implementing soon. I'm still not allowed into my mom's apartment. In our case, the facility Director has been very forthcoming about all that is taking place and the communication by emails has been great.

As I'm sure the other people have commented, things will vary so much from state-to-state and facility-to-facility. If you do not feel comfortable with what the facility is telling you, maybe you should talk with your city's Ombudsman and ask for either their direction or intervention on your behalf. I know I did that with issues at my mom's previous ALF when they were negligent in allowing my mom to be near death and not telling me until it was almost too late and when I wasn't allowed to get movers in there to get all her things.

It's very hard to keep getting your hopes up only to be let down time and time again. I sure hope you can get some more concrete answers, that you will be able to visit your loved one soon and you can move forward in a more peaceful manner.

Facilities across the USA each have their own rules. Check on the rules in place in your own. I think rules are becoming more and more lax just when the Virus, which has never left us nor been conquered by us, is ready again to surge. There are so many repercussions on family and on seniors that places are becoming desperate to allow visits. American "Frontier Mentaliry" is an actual thing". We honor more the individual's choice than the "good of all" and are impatient to get on over the next mountain range. Can work in our favor; can work against us. What an awful dilemma we would be in. My bro was in ALF in So. Cal. I think now that I am just coming to the time I could have visited with him, had he lived; yet here is that time, and I could not have because So. Cal still is boiling hot, and because his own facility, FREE of Covid throughout, remains quite on lockdown.

Contact your legislators and point to MN, where they passed legislation making it possible for people to become authorized as "essential caregivers" by facilities and who can be allowed inside no matter what. They passed this in June. Keep up the political pressure as much as possible.