How much longer can I last, I feel like my life is over?

I am a stay at home caregiver, at least for now as I don't know how long I will be able to afford doing this, much as I would like to because I would rather be the caregiver as opposed to paying a stranger to take care of my loved one. Try to look at it one day at a time before you quit your part-time job. Can your parents qualify for in-home care and/or do they have the financial means to get that sort of help? Have you requested a consult with their doctors? What do the doctors suggest in terms of the type of care they will require here and now? Your life is not over. You need a lot more information before you rush to a conclusion. The doctors will be a great start to help you think about what all your parents need right now by way of care and whether you are in a position to provide it on your own. If nothing else, you may need occasional respite care to allow you a few hours away from it all to think about your next steps. Hang in there, and keep sharing. Sharing with each other helps a lot of us who are caregivers.

Thanks I needed that, My parents are in the middle with the help they can get, the doctors say that they don't know how long this could go on . My father is getting stronger day by day,he still thinks that he can walk and whats to get up with out help and he has feel once. mom dosen't want to belive that she is having problem remembering short term things. she use to be a social worker and some times I think that she has forgotten what she use to tell other people.But today was a good day for everyone mom took a nap, and dad stayed in bed. all the op, speech,the nurse, pt, the new wheel chair, all showed up at the time they said they would and I got to work on time and the people at work sayed me a gallon of soup and sandwithes for supper I almost cryed. Thank you again. I do love them and I use to work in a nursing home that is not a place I would like for them to have to go.

Like you, I have worked in the nursing home industry many years ago and short of total memory loss or loss of consciousness, may the God Lord hear both of our prayers that neither you nor I want our loved ones to ever have the be placed in a nursing home. You know what you are talking about when you say that. If it comes down to that, of course, I will clearly know that I have done my best to avoid it, but seeing that I would never want to be in a nursing home myself, I would never want to place anyone I love in a nursing home. It is living by the golden rule. Glad to hear that things have settled down for a bit with your parents. Caregiving is touch and go as your situation clearly describes, so I find it best to slow down a lot, take one thing at-a-time, and I truly have learned to pick and choose. If a person who has dementia is saying something that harms no one, as I see it, it really is not worth arguing about the comments and agitating oneself and the person being cared for. If, on the other hand, there is potential danger or a potential safety issue relative to what is being said by an individual with dementia, then as the caregiver, my responsibility is to intervene to help avoid disastrous consequences. Your Mom probably has forgotten more than you think and/or than she realizes at this point. No harm

We are luckly to have many nursing homes to choose from in the area whwere I live and are inspected often-but I think it is best to have your loved ones in one whwere you or someone dependable can check on them often,As I have observed the families who are calm and approachable are able to get their problems addressed easier. At one nursing home my husbands roomates' wife had a meltdown each day so even when she had a real problem she was dismissed.

I am testing this site to see if I can get logged on to it. I've been up all night with my mom. Please respond and let me know if this is viewed.

Thank You

melissa38 hi you are certainly here, sorry about your evening, night, and morning i'm guessing. we all know one bad night will throw off a few days. enjoy thse people, they seem to be life savors.

Melissa
Welcome this site will be a life saver to you. I am a caregiver for my husband and am now recovering from broken ribs and am now able to use the computer more-but whatever questions you have sooner of later you will get good advice from those in the know who have been through so much and still will be a comfort to you .

Hi-I am new to this site also. I am taking care of both of my parents, plus working full time, plus trying to keep my husband happy. I am extremely tired and stressed. I also feel very isolated. How do the rest of you find time for any type of fun or relaxation? I am up every morning at 4:45 and I don't sit down until around 8 or 9. I do everything for my parents-(bills, groceries, baths, haircuts, urostomy bags, diaper changes etc.) plus trying to take care of my own house. I do have someone come in during the time that I am at work but it is very expensive and it is using up all of my parents savings. On top of it all, I feel guilty for not feeling completely happy about taking care of them! A constant Catch 22!

Hi, spie! You are taking care of your parents very well, believe it or not. You juggle your life and administer their financial affairs and change diapers. I would say that is the definition of caregiving at its finest. The fact that you must work doesn't make you any less of a caregiver. It just means that you are truly dedicated to caring for your parents and are trying to keep that juggling act going. Caregiving is an exhausting proposition whether one is employed full-time, part-time, or not at all outside of one's home. Fun for me may be a good book, an early nap, a drive out, my favorite bookstore, a long, leisurely walk, or dinner with a good friend. There is a lot that one can do to achieve balance in one's life. The challenge is recognizing the right timing and seizing the moment before the window of opportunity passes. It may be a cup of coffee savored before the rest of the world starts to stir, a warm throw over one's shoulder as one sips the hot cup of coffee and enjoys the perfect stillness of a new morning, a new day. It's all 'simple abundance,' as author Sarah B. Breathnach so wonderfully describes such moments in one of her books. It may be a favorite oversized chair or special nook in your home....

Spie
Welcome to this site these people will be a lifesaver for you. You should be proud of yourself that you are managing or as they say in the northeast-multitasking. Do not feel quiltty-DROP THE GUILT- I am better off than most of the selfless people on this site- and have become a better person for having this site to go to to vent and to see how my friends are doing. We will have bad days and being able to post is sometimes the only thing going for us-please keep in touch.