She says that she changed everything to my adopted brother's name. He is abusing mom but he is her Golden Boy! He empties her bank account every month but mom is okay with that.
Mom is 99 years old and where she lives they will not to cognitive testing. They say it is a waste of money. Everyone involved with her are aware of her cognitive abilities. I want to report it but actually fear the backlash I will get from my brother. He can be violent.
In Canada (as well as elsewhere else I imagine) it is possible for someone with early dementia to sign contracts provided they can still understand what they are doing, generally the lawyer will have spoken to your mother privately in order judge whether she understood and whether she was feeling pressured to make the changes. Given that he has already emptied her accounts and your mother thinks this is a great idea you probably have nothing to gain by trying to prove either coercion or incompetence. Are you sure you really want to take this on?
I am really questioning myself whether I want to take this on! It really is a no win situation. I have no idea exactly what too place at that meeting as mom thought she had gone to the Doctors. My brother does not communicate with me even when it is serious issues like possible amputation of moms legs. This site is giving me strength. Thank you
Dementia is a progression and I would guess only her doctor can have the final say on "if she's competant" or not. I agree with @cwillie though. If the money is already gone is this a battle worth fighting?
In this case the Dr just laughed at me when I asked about competant testing. His response was (I hope I am in as good shape as your mom when I am 99) I had just lined up a new person to see and "test" mom when everything went crazy. I no longer can follow through as I am no longer POA. My brother will not respond to me!
How advanced is Mum’s dementia? My step dad was able to update his will and POA when he was in the early stages of dementia. This was in BC.
otherwise you may need to apply for guardianship or ask the Public Trustee to take over Mum’s affairs. This happened with a family friend. Her son convinced her to ditch her POA as the POA had stopped the money flow. The POA reported financial abuse and the Public Trustee took over. Again this was in BC.
Thank you for your reply. I am in the process of contacting the Public Trustee. This is made difficult as Mom lives in one province and I live in the next province.
The problem may well be ‘show timing’. If mother turns up at the lawyer’s office and seems fine, they are not likely to ‘investigate’ - it’s not their job. You need to visit a different lawyer to get advice on this.
Six months ago I met with the lawyer and presented the findings of mom's dementia. It was in writing. I even talked to him the week that mom was going to the Lawyer. It made no difference. I am currently seeking legal advise on this matter.
You say that you “fear the backlash I will get from my brother. He can be violent.” How violent? Really dangerous to you? If it’s just a shouting match and a push, you could consider letting him know that you are planning a challenge when you are accompanied by a reputable witness, even in front of cameras or a sound recorder. A witnessed assault could be very influential if you do decide to go for guardianship or other legal approaches.
My brother has a police record, done time, I had to call 911, but my mom knows and has witnessed it but said "he is sick, just ignore it" I have sent him a text as he will not answer his phone and gave him the concerns that Home Care had as well as the Drug Store and the nurse had but he did not respond. Hopefully this week will bring me more answers. I am waiting for call backs.
no, someone who is incompetent cannot sign anything...it is not valid. But, you need to contest this legally...and do not wait
otherwise you may need to apply for guardianship or ask the Public Trustee to take over Mum’s affairs. This happened with a family friend. Her son convinced her to ditch her POA as the POA had stopped the money flow. The POA reported financial abuse and the Public Trustee took over. Again this was in BC.
In the USA as long as the abused defends their abuser there is nothing that can be done.
You are in a position that you can only decide what you are going to do. They have to live with their choices and you do not, unless you choose to.