I didn't know exactly what category this question belongs, but given my mother has dementia, I thought Alzheimer's & Dementia would be most appropriate.
Mom is mid-stage in her mixed dementia journey. She is 93 and her short-term memory is shot. Her long term memory has also declined, though not as bad. Occasionally, she's confused about the identity of who she's talking to and has forgotten most of her family's names. She can still manage her ADL's reasonably well, though she gets help from MC staff with clothing choices, when to change clothes. She is also incontinent of urine. Manages bathing and personal care okay.
Personality-wise Mom is self-absorbed, critical, chronically dissatisfied and complains about everything, especially around her family; however, she can be quite charming when she chooses to be. She's a world-class show-timer. We (the family) placed Mom in a very nice memory care because she didn't want to move in with any of us. She's on Namenda for her dementia, also low-dose Seroquel for anxiety and paranoia, has other managed medical issues.
Again, Mom complains a lot. She retains remarkably good verbal skills. To the casual observer she gives the impression of being more competent than she really is and has convinced a handful of folks that she doesn't belong in memory care. Despite multiple APS referrals and multiple doctors who all feel Mom is appropriately placed, these "friends" feel free to criticize about Mom's level of care. Mostly, I ignore the remarks, but sometimes I wish I had a stockpile of comebacks to draw on for clueless people who think they know better than her family does. These "friends" have no idea what we as a family have dealt with. At the same time, I'm tired of justifying family decisions about Mom's care. I'd really appreciate appropriate comebacks that have worked for those of you in similar circumstances!