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Your profiles says your mom is 81 years old, lives next door to you and she recently fell and had a hip replacement 3 weeks ago. 

Did your mom have signs of dementia before the surgery? I'm asking because anesthesia often can impact an elder's cognitive functioning after surgery. They don't recover mentally as fast and sometimes they never go back to their prior levels of functioning.

If your mom really didn't have symptoms of dementia before the surgery, I would maybe give her a little more time to see if she recovers or improves before having her assessed. I realize you are struggling to care for her right now. Do you have the option to hire in-home help for a little while? Did your mom rehab in a facility at all?

I'm not sure how mobile your mom is to even get her in for a medical appointment. If necessary (and to keep her calm) you can make up a "therapeutic fib" about why she's having the appointment with her doctor (GP, or Internist). Tell her Medicare requires it, or anything you think she'll believe. Go prepared with a pre-written note that you discretely hand to the staff outlining your concerns about your mom's cognitive/memory issues and asking for a test, and also to test her for a UTI, an infection which quite commonly occurs after one is catheterized for surgery and can create dementia-like symptoms in the elderly. A UTI should definitely be discounted because it is easily treated and her cognitive abilities can return.

At that appointment request the Medical Representative form (part of HIPAA). Have your mom write in your name as her representative and then she signs and dates the form. She will need to do this at every doc office and clinic, every year. This gives her medical staff the legal ability to share her private medical info with you without her having to be present. This is different than a medical PoA. Are you her PoA? This would also be important to have in order to legally manage her affairs (and the banks have their own process).

There is much to know and do and it is hard. There is a lot of helpful people and info to be found on this forum. I wish you much wisdom and peace in your heart as you muscle through it all.

P.S. My mom lives next to me also!
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As Geaton suggests, anesthesia can cause cognitive issues that can mimic dementia. That aside, assessing your mom for dementia starts with her primary care physician. A very short cognitive and functional screening can be done by her PCP. If, as a result of those tests, and input from you regarding family history and your own observations, dementia is suspected, the dr. can either continue testing to see if the dementia is caused by a treatable condition, or refer your mom to a specialist, typically a neurologist. The neurologist could perform various procedures like CT or MRI scans, blood work, and spinal taps to look for certain biomarkers, indicative of a progressive disease. So your first step is to make an appt with her PCP. Most PCPs are now routinely screening the elderly for dementia, but you might want to give a heads up to her dr.
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