The aunt doesn't care about what is going on with her sister. Husband has suggested mom be moved to a smaller facility where she could interact with others better. He wants her closer to us geographically. The place is 6K per month. He has found a smaller,.less expensive place near our home. Aunt is negative and unhappy. We think that this burden is too great for her to manage
He would have to prove that either he can provide better care for mom or that the sister is not fulfilling her duties as POA.
This might be a tough thing to prove in court.
If mom is in a facility and doing well most "professionals" (doctors, Social Workers, therapists) would tell the court that moving someone with dementia can result in a decline that they may or may not rebound from.
If mom has the assets to continue to pay for the more expensive facility then the cost is not a factor.
If she will run out of assets and have to rely on Medicaid if the place she currently is at will keep her if she goes on Medicaid then cost and facility is not a factor. If however the place she is currently at does not accept Medicaid she would have to move anyway.
this might be something that a nice calm level headed discussion with the sister might prove more beneficial rather than a court case.
(honestly 6 thousand a month seems reasonable)
I did it all myself. That said, be careful what you wish for. It is a lot of work and responsibility.
To “get guardianship” will mean that hubs has legally filed for this type of legal action in the County courthouse where his mom resides. Usually guardianship are heard / done in probate court and overseen by an elected judge. It as far as I am aware they need to have an attorney represent you as the applicant seeking guardianships as there are specific sequential documents submitted to the court. Costs 8K-15K and will have some type of annual or biannual reporting you are responsible for doing filed with the court. If y’all don’t live in the same County but in the same State where his mom is now, imho you 100% have to have an atty who is and is familiar with how that judge and his staff roll AND may need an “attorney of record” that is an atty in your County listed on all filings that will be the atty shepherding the guardianship when mom moves to another County in the same State.
You should totally expect to have credit history and legal history pulls. So if there’s something sketchy, that could be an issue. You have to show pretty sound financials yourself so that it appears you have zero need for moms $. And you will likely have to be bonded. If there is an anticipated house sale that Hubs as the guardian will be doing, being bonded is fairly common. That any will know the bailbondsmen who do these as it’s different than the bail guys who do criminal bail releases.
Guardianships always run the risk that the judge will take the position that a resident in their County will be best served by having a placed by the Court outside guardian rather than a son/daughter/other relative. It is as others have posted…. simplest is mom does a new POA. To me you want one that is freshy fresh done by an elder law atty so that it is current to State laws and good across the board for how financial institutions recognize them and have mom update her will as well.
* SSA does not - again DOES NOT - recognize POAs. The individual will need to do the SSA form to name someone to be their “rep payee” which allows the rep payee to handle elders SSA income. Other retirements kinda do the same. His moms bank accounts should have a signature/ signatory on file at moms bank to allow her to sign checks, do withdrawals. If this isn’t happening, her Sister as POA is not doing a pretty well established fiduciary duty. Sonny’s atty could use this as part of the justification to have Auntie removed as POA and him named as Guardian.
The Sister may be assigned as PoA and acting as if she has control, but she legally does not if the authority hasn't met the criteria specified in the document.
More information would be helpful.
Does Mom have a secondary to her POA? If so, Aunt can step down and allow the secondary to take over. Is Mom of sound mind? If so, she can revoke Aunts POA and assign you.
As said, guardianship is expendrive.
If Aunt doesn't wish to resign her POA, however, you are looking at likely a minimum of 10,000 to an attorney to fight her choice not to resign. If she is doing a good job you would not win such a fight.
Speak with an attorney for all of your options so that you can make a positive choice moving forward.
How is his relationship with the aunt? Instead of viewing it as she "doesn't care," can you reframe it as, she's too overwhelmed with her own situation at age 86, and offer in kindness to help decrease the burden on her? She may be more responsive to that. (Or maybe not.) Like, retaining the POA but agreeing to make the changes your husband wants.
However, consider yours and your husband's relationship with his mother. Is it healthy, so having her nearby would be a plus in your lives, or at least not a negative? Or is your aunt's negativity and unhappiness because her sister/your MIL is difficult and demanding? Just a caution to be careful what you wish for.
It's thoughtful of you to look into this for your husband and I hope the situation can be resolved well for all of you. Let us know how it goes.