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First my mother-in-law's doctors all said she could no longer live on her own. Then we started looking around for living asst. in our area. We also went by word of mouth to find a really nice place. Then you start visiting the places and get a 'feel' for what they are like. Most places we found will let you put down a deposit to hold a room open till you decided what to do. Those deposits are refunded back to you if you decided against the place. We had 3 places holding a room for her at one time till we found the one we liked best. Some places will take Medicare when the money runs out, hers doesn't.
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JRS: I'm sure this is a very difficult situation for you, moving a spouse would be much harder for me than moving my mother. First you have to understand what sort of needs your spouse has, make list so that you don't have to remember. Consider everything: monitoring specific or chronic health issues like blood sugar, dressing, bathing, remembering to take medications, organizing medications, brushing teeth, preparing food, getting to doctors appointments, etc..... Then determine your ability to pay for this. If you need financial assistance them you must consider an application for Medicaide or state assistance. Most states permit that a surviving spouse can keep a home and income to prevent them from becoming indigent or homeless. One of the best places to get help sorting through these details is your county Area Agency on Aging. They have counselors and volunteers who can help you wade through the details.

Best of luck to you and your spouse.
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