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Has she been seen by a geriatric psychiatrist?

Mood swings and rudeness can be symptoms depression, anxiety, agitation or other conditions that may be treatable with the appropriate meds.
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My father has been abusive towards me all my life. It’s done intentionally. Your mother might be the same.

I try several strategies: (a) remembering that my father does this as a control technique, projection…(b) I try to have so much self-esteem that no one can tear me down. (c) I remember: it’s a lie what he says. It’s not my fault.
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Your mother is only 69, and you have years ahead to face how to deal with this.

First question is whether mother has always been like this, it’s just ‘more so’ now. 'More so' is often the case with long term difficult parents, and with many dementia sufferers (and the carers who suffer with them). It’s also true for many older people who get the idea that because they are old, they are now the boss and are entitled to whatever they want. Elders like this don’t like to hear ‘no’. However you do have some chance that boundaries will work. The mantra is ‘this is what it takes if you want to live here with me’, followed by ‘if that’s not OK with you, we will need to look at another form of care’.

If your mother has never been like this before, and it’s a symptom of one of the many dementia issues, your chances of getting her to face boundaries are less. In that case you need to plan for the future, which will eventually need facility care. There are many threads to help you if you click on Care Topics at the top RHS of the screen. You may be able to cope for quite a lot longer, but the advice is often that people do better if they are moved to facility care (Senior Living, Assisted Living, Nursing Home, Memory Care) early enough to adjust and feel at home there.

There are many detailed threads on ‘Care Topics’ which will give you other people’s experience, and something to chew over while you work out how to approach this.
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From another post: "Does anyone know how to navigate researching and finding financial assistance for finding an assisted living facility for an aging and unhappy parent? I am only 31, am a full time teacher, am an only child trying to figure this all out."

Looks like you are already considering facility placement for your mother. Tell us more. What is her financial situation? Could she qualify for Medicaid?

What kind of help do you provide for her now? Does she live with you, or vice-versa? If not, how far away is she?

Do you have POA/HCPOA?
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Graves desease is serious and I hope she is seeing an Endocrinologist. Graves effects the Thyroid and my Moms doctor discribed it as, eats away the Thyroid. Thank God medication helped my Mom. I forget the med my Mom took but you can't take cholesterol medication with it because both damage the liver.

"People may experience:
Whole body: excess sweating, fatigue, heat intolerance, or high blood pressure
Heart: fast heart rate, irregular heart rate, or palpitations
Mood: anxiety or nervousness
Eyes: abnormal protrusion of eyes or puffy eyes
Also common: absence of menstruation, diarrhea, enlarged thyroid, hair loss, hand tremor, insomnia, irritability, muscle weakness, puffy skin changes on the shin, or weight loss"

The Thyroid gives off hormones. When it doesn't work right, there can be lots of problems as u can see by the symptoms above. You can see why Mom would be moody.

Again, if she is not going to an Endocrinologist, she should be.
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