I have 2 Sisters both nurses one in state one out of state. One out of state gets very upset and mad when I ask for help she does not like being told what to do. So will not help except for a visit for a few days every 4 months. no kids etc. The one in state will come around once every 2 weeks. I have asked, communicated , pleaded with the needs of my parents both age 90. They say ok I will handle that but both repeatedly do not come thru.
I handle everything for my Mother with dementia its taken a very SERIOUS toll on my health and they are both aware of this, but still have not asked "what can I do to help" My Dad has serious health issues but able to care for self except I refill his meds order all his meds and keep track of that. It's has put a major strain on our relationship we all no longer talk. I am sure they are relieved because now I do not fill them in on Mom and Dad and I do not ask them for anything. My Dad cannot help my Mom he is too ill. He has a healthcare nurse that his insurance pays for but they will only help him. The real help they need is with meals. They do not help out with a meals much. One every 2 weeks for Sis in state, and out of state nothing unless I call and ask . They have a meal service but its horrible. Really horrible food they will not eat it.
Help they are the sweetest parents and have helped both out many times when they needed help.