How do you handle male incontinence (both) when traveling on short or long trips?

I so wish you had said in your question what you said in your response. You may have gotten more helpful answers like peaceforall. It maybe worth all the trouble to take him if it means giving you a break. You being able to enjoy family and having Christmas with them. It all depends on what you are willing to do. If its no problem for you, then do it.

I just saw your answer saying you do not think it will work. Don't give up yet. It sounds like you may get somewhat of a break going to be with your kids and grandkids and that would be good for you and for him too of course. My Mom is incontient both ways and with diarrhea often. I still take her places and we just do the best we can. Every time we walk out the door I take the following in a prepacked bag: depends, pads, paper towels, wash cloths, soap (baggies to put the used wash clothes and soap in), wipes, small trash bags for the used depends and pads and triple bag them to try to contain the odors), a nice room spray usually lavender and extra clothes (top and bottom). My Mom is 90 and mostly uses a walker, sometimes a wheelchair. She has advanced dementia and needs guidance with the walker. I disagree with people who are saying as soon as someone is incontinent they go to a nursing home. But if you do not have love for your husband because of how he treated you I doubt I would go through all of that for someone like that. You have your own reasons for whatever you do and no one can tell you what to do, just what they think they would do. If this is something you really want to do, do you think maybe one of your kids would be willing to come to you and help the two of you get there? It seems like driving would be easier than flying. I hope you can work out something that works for you. Good luck to you and big hugs.

Justperforming: You're going to require multiple stops in order for this gentleman to ride along on these short and long trips. Perhaps this challenge would be much more difficult than you perceive.

S

SueGood
1 min ago
Edit
Sorry for the lack of editing before. I am not exactly sure how the tea works, but boy does it. And all natural. It is a loose leaf tea with a variety of flowers herbs and fruit including cranberries. It somehow balances one's system. No more smell, no big leakage. My Mom would flood her bed each night. We changed the whole bed daily. And not to disrespect my Mom, but most people could not tolerate the smell. After the tea, no more smell and most nights were dry.

Lastly, I did take my Mom traveling when she had incontinence. It took a village, planning, but doable. And worth it.

If traveling is an option, your husband should not travel, either long or short. If traveling is necessary, a nurse or certified caregiver should escort him to help him.

Shop an online or local medical supply company, possibly a larger store like CVS, and purchase external male 'catheters'. They are a slip-on that can be placed - either DIY or with assistance - and can be used with a leg bag or placed in a collection container. Suggest the addition of adult pullups too, just to be safe.

I would assume this question was asked because of Thanksgiving. Just, did u need the info because you felt you wanted to take husband to a family gathering or because you needed confirmation that taking DH out of ur home would be an impossible task?

So, what did u finally do.

Sadly, you need to be practical here, I would not advise taking him anywhere if he’s in continent. Hire someone to be with him while you go out or place him in a facility. That time is coming no matter what.

such an easy question I am a pilot and often at 7000ft nature calls and In a small plane there are no bathrooms. They make urinary devices that slip over the penis and can catch the urine.
they make a female version too.

1. Try to avoid taking the incontinent male on short or long trips. You do not mention what illness is causing the incontinence. For the incontinent person ( male or female) it may be best to help them maintain their dignity and self respect by arranging for them to be cared for at home and, not travel. This may sound insensitive to their need to be " included" and, I assure you that it is not. Perhaps find very very short outings say to park or a one stop store/ place, doctor or other visit if you feel they must be taken out.
Of course the depends will need to be used and if male pt. someone male will need to be with you to go into make restroom to help change as needed( that is if the pt is ambulatory).

The more dignity and self respect can be maintained with minimal to no travel unless you hire a male caregiver or have make relative to assist and IF patient is able to be cooperative and compliant.

Practice good self care.....you are impt too...

There is nowhere your bed bound(?) husband needs to travel. If you are his only care taker, then you don't ttavel, either.
Are you asking this in reference to upcoming holidays? You do not need to go.

Bell's Lifestyle bladder tea for men. Guaranteed. Or your mobey back. Store told me never a retyrn. Only 1 mug a day works. May take 2 weeks to build up but then magic. If you drink more than 1 mug a day, may work faster. My Mom suffered the worst incontinence our caregivers had seen. After 2 weeks, pure magic, praise God.

You don’t. Embarrassing for you and the husband (if he’s cognitively aware he’s doing it). Consider other people… most people would be sympathetic and not blame you or him. But even if they understand why, they don’t deserve to have dinner, a trip to the mall, etc ruined by pee and poop smells. I don’t have a weak stomach, but if I have to smell poop when I’m trying to eat? No way, I’d retch!

Laugh

Don't. He doesn't need to be out anywhere! Other people don't want to smell, touch or be contaminated with feces; that's a health hazard for you and other people. Years ago I drove on a two-day one-way trip and two-days back with a male who was sometimes urinary incontinent. He insisted on peeing in a bottle while sitting in the front seat next to me. Sometimes I'd empty the bottle at a rest stop but other times it would be full and he'd open the car window and empty it out as we were driving on the interstate. He could not be reasoned with and he wouldn't wear Depends. Never again. As a caregiver, let me tell you: there's a time to give up. This is that time for you.

You don't.

There comes a time when traveling for pleasure is done.

If it's necessary travel, then take the suggestions below about hiring nurses and medical transportation.

If he’s that incontinent the only trip you should take him on is a one way trip to a nursing home.

If getting to a toilet quicker is the issue, some prepping & planning may help.
- Knowing the route, where the public toilets are (disabled facilities if you need extra space to help)
- Bringing a urinal bottle to use instead.
- Easy trousers, no fiddly belts - eg elastic waisted.

If past that stage & incontinent then *aim to contain*. This is what the Continence Clinic RN advised;
- If mobility good, take a change bag: wipes, rubbish bags, spares (pull-ups/pads/clothing). Cleanup & change as required in public disabled bathrooms.
- If mobility poor, have to return home for cleanup. Consider falls risk + injury to caregiver. Take a supply bag: wipes, jumper, blanket. Jumper to tie around waist (for walkers) & blanket to throw over lap (in wheelchair) to hide the mishap. Then exit.
- Talk to Doctor about suitability of longer term solutions eg catheters & leg bags.
- Consider getting as many appointments as possible via telehealth/phone. Obviously many have to be in person eg podiatrists, wound checks. Try for services that can visit.
- Consider having an Aide accompany when out.

For me, double incontinence was my limit. After some car seat puddles I insisted pullups be used & I placed protection pad on seat. I stopped providing transport after the first double incontinence in public.

I am with Lea. Me, I did not take my Mom anywhere once she was incontinent. By that time she was placed in a NH, in late stage of Dementia.

In August, you posted, "Husband is mostly bed bound. Taking care of incontinence and stroke issues. Getting dependable care has not worked.
I hate having to care for him after many years of not being cared for or provided for by him."

How do you plan to take any types of trips with a husband in such a condition, I guess I don't understand? If there is an urgent need to travel, I'd hire a nurse to travel with you and to take care of him along the way, or hire medical transportation for him. Otherwise, you'd have way too much to deal with, trying to care for a mostly bed bound man with double incontinence issues, and such trips would become hellish for you, I would think. If you're on a plane, 2 people can't fit into the lavatory on board, so changing a brief would be impossible. If he were to have a BM on a plane, he'd have to sit in it for the length of the trip, and everyone on board would have to bear the odor emanating from his soiled brief. Not a great idea, unless you hire a nurse to deal with all of it.

If you're traveling in a car, you'd need to find a restroom to accompany him into. But again, if he has such mobility issues, it doesn't make sense to me how you'd be able to manage him alone w/o help of some kind. Nor why you'd want to take any trips at all with a doubly incontinent elder, unless there was an urgent need to do so. Then I'd look into hiring medical transportation or a nurse to go along with you.

Good luck.

In August, you posted, "Husband is mostly bed bound. Taking care of incontinence and stroke issues. Getting dependable care has not worked.
I hate having to care for him after many years of not being cared for or provided for by him."

How do you plan to take any types of trips with a husband in such a condition, I guess I don't understand? If there is an urgent need to travel, I'd hire a nurse to travel with you and to take care of him along the way, or hire medical transportation for him. Otherwise, you'd have way too much to deal with, trying to care for a mostly bed bound man with double incontinence issues, and such trips would become hellish for you, I would think. If you're on a plane, 2 people can't fit into the lavatory on board, so changing a brief would be impossible. If he were to have a BM on a plane, he'd have to sit in it for the length of the trip, and everyone on board would have to bear the odor emanating from his soiled brief. Not a great idea, unless you hire a nurse to deal with all of it.

If you're traveling in a car, you'd need to find a restroom to accompany him into. But again, if he has such mobility issues, it doesn't make sense to me how you'd be able to manage him alone w/o help of some kind. Nor why you'd want to take any trips at all with a doubly incontinent elder, unless there was an urgent need to do so. Then I'd look into hiring medical transportation or a nurse to go along with you.

Good luck.