How do you go about finding respite care?

You don’t say how your husband is being “hateful” to you as you stated in your profile, but if he is becoming physically abusive, you don’t need to tolerate this.

Have you considered a facility for him? Respite care is wonderful but when he comes home, bottom line is he will still have dementia. You can find respite care by calling local facilities and asking them if they offer it.

Thank you ,his behavior is not always hateful ,he is different from day to day

Check with your local agency on aging to see if he qualifies for any services and a list of agencies or facilities who can provide respite care.