How do you forgive them?

Are you the only 'natural resource' that's available? If you can see how your future is going to stack up, how about changing the direction? That would be my goal, change your future outlook and forget the others. Maybe that's too simplistic, but that's how I see it. That, and maybe it's time to rely on your friends and not the relatives.

Thanks Nancy, I would like to change the future direction but there are many factors which are boxing me in. It is just hard after a lifetime of believing that I shared values and worldview with certain people and finding out now that they will let horrible things happen rather than be merely inconvenienced. Right now I am a long-distance caregiver (this is going to change) and these relatives are local to my mother.

I am of the opinion that people's behavior is an evidence of where they are mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. We are not in their shoes and sometimes their shoes (and ours) need to take a walk to another place. So just accept how it is and deal. In time things may change. I have found that if I change the only thing I can, myself, my own attitude, enviroment or whatever, there is usually a way to cope.
Do you really want to move to care for your mother? It sound like this is really hard for you. Are there other siblings? How about moving your mother near to you?
I read often how family moves to the older persons location. This is not a progressive idea. Life moves forward not backwards. The past is done, the future and future generations is where it is at. Preserve the past, secure the future.