My mother is in skilled care due to multiple medical conditions, but her cognitive function is mostly intact. We all live more than an hour from her facility, too far for her to travel for a gathering. I’m interested in how others navigate holidays like Christmas, other than just coming by for a regular visit. Ideas?
My family called it "Second Christmas", and depending on schedules and weather, we sometimes couldn't celebrate it until sometime in March. The date didn't matter; what mattered was we were able to get together for a nice visit.
On the holiday, do your regular holiday celebration - gifts, dinner and whatever. You don't necessarily have to mention any of those plans to mom. If she asks, tell her you want to focus on her where she is and that's why you're participating in the facility's celebration. Then change the subject. Or, during the family celebration, include her onscreen, or phone her and tell her you miss her and will have lots of pictures next time you see her.
When someone's that sick, you have to make changes, but it's not so bad. Tradition is nice but doesn't have to be the exact same every time.
She was in rehab when her birthday rolled around. There was a room at the facility for visiting, so we brought cake and all to her and just celebrated there. She was just happy we’d all gathered around her.
I realize not many can probably do this, and we've also celebrated on the day before and brought everything to her as much as possible. Sometimes facilities will have their own celebrations so we tried to be part of that as often as possible, as well.
Sure I feel sad that he will be alone. But when I visit all he does is sleep anyway. He really does not care about anything, he just looks at me blankly. I don’t think he really cares about Christmas anymore.
I would not take a bunch of people at one time to visit. Maybe overwhelming and tiring. Maybe the day after when things are quieter.
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