I am this close to leaving. She rips up throws away and hides things. She throws a loud temper tantrum at night for several days if I ask nicely for her not to touch my things. I lock them up she finds them. She busted the door to my safe I had my valuables.
My mother doesn't like my fall decorations. At first she denied it but then admitted she was mad the air fryer broke and I looked at her the wrong way so she broke a bunch of my decorations and my ball for the pool and ripped up a yard and something really special my late husband made me because it looked slutty. I am not arguing with her but I am thoroughly sick of this shit.How would you handle it?
I hope you can find out what works for both of you.
I'm so sorry for this distressing situation when you are doing your best to care for her.
It is time to leave. It is time for placement. This either works for the caregiver or it doesn't work at all. Don't allow yourself to become a hostage to this disease, and you become another casualty to it. A caregiver can only go so far with any situation like this one you just described.
Please say more. What are the circumstances here?
Are you living with your mothers? If so, for how long?
Is your mother living with you? If so, for how long?
What other problems do you have ongoing.
Is your mother safe to live alone on her own?
Have you considered placement for your mother?
Do you have POA for your mother?
Have you discussed your mother's problematic behaviors with her doctor?
Without information from you I am afraid all I can do is give you my sympathy.
Home care is usually unsustainable. Your mom has proven it so. I wish you luck in placing her. Don't even think that if you hire home health aides, that will solve the problem. It would only add to your problems because then you'd have aides who don't want to work under such conditions, and you'd have to keep scrambling to find and keep more.
Meds would probably help mom, but you'd be the one who'd have to get her to take them, and that's another hassle.
Good luck, and I hope you are making plans to turn mom's care over to a care facility where they'll know how to handle her.
You can not stop her behavior, you can only remove yourself from the situation.
It sounds like time for her to be in a memory care facility or a nursing home.
Talk to her medical provider and educate yourself on what dementia is - and how the brain changes as a person loses brain cells, what parts of the brain are affected and the behaviors.
Your mother may need to be on medication and / or in a home where there is supervision.
She will continue to behave like this until you change the situation.
Hire a medical social worker to assist you.
You cannot do this by yourself. You need the support and education to understand how to handle this situation.
Getting frustrated and angry at her won't help either one of you. It will continue to escalate the situation, perhaps especially for you.
Get the help / support you need asap.
Gena / Touch Matters
caring for a loved one with Alzheimer/dementia can be extremely challenging and even more so if your trying to care for a parent on your own
you really need to reach out for some help
chat with her gp and ask for help
speak to social service and also other family members
you clearly sound like your struggling very much
you didn’t say what state she was at
has this behaviour only just started
could it be possible she could have a uti ?
has she had her medication review lately
you really need to reach out you obviously need help because ur health is going to suffer to, it’s diffficult caring for a Ioved one with dementia even when things are running allot more smoothly.
please reach out to the medical professionals and social services to see how they can help wth care and gp to help keep mum carmer
it can be extremely stressful ad even me so on your own
there are day care centres to help stimulate her
its a horrible disease she really can’t hep how she is behaving
iv been through it myself and i was trained but completely different when it’s your own, but no way could I of cared for my dad without the help, I also had my mum with Parkinson’s who broke both her hips, that’s when my dad really deteriorated
its heart breaking
reach out please you really need some help and something to help keep her calmer maybe and as said make sure she hasn’t got a uti.
She isn’t behaving like this on purpose
its the disease
I hope you get the help you need soon
You can no longer be her caregiver .
Sometimes family becomes a trigger , and the parent needs to be taken care of by non family .