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Hi, Mimi; welcome!

It sounds like you are in a "no-win" situation. You moved in to help your dad, but he won't let you help.

Maybe your siblings figured this out and that's why they aren't stepping up.

Sometimes the best way to get an elder help is to step BACK, call Adult Protective Services and have them step in and force a cleanup. Or it could be that dad is competent and is allowed to live how he wants.

Make your own life and support from a distance.
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Reading your profile really shows that your dad’s situation is too much for any one person to make better. Don’t spend time being angry at those who don’t help, they’ve made their decisions and you can’t change that. What you can change is stopping using your money in this, and finding help. It’s not your fault that it is the way it is, your efforts are simply being overwhelmed. Call APS and then back away
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Agree with first posters. This job is way too big for you. Do not keep spinning your wheels and driving yourself to the brink. It's too much.

Don't focus on your siblings. They are all free to make their own decisions, as are you. In my situation, I feel like my sister is the smart one since she says NO WAY, where I on the other hand, had our parents move in with us.

Hire help, with his money, to do everything you do not want to do. It is not your responsibility to do everything for someone else. Especially dealing with such gross living conditions. Roaches? OMG so gross.
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Try to get some assistance from Social Services (for a part time home health aid), reach out to therapy groups, etc. I am in the same situation. I do everything!
I myself am living with MS, experiencing terrible hot flashes, working full time and trying to move us both to a better, safer healthier environment. Hang in there! Try to focus on what you can control and not stress over what they are not doing. I've had to disassociate myself because the toxic behavior stresses me out and affects mom as well.
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