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How do you cope with a mother who at 91-years-old is starting to have more and more day-time bathroom accidents? We give frequent bathroom reminders, and help with depends/diapers. She seems so unaware at times and yet will get up several times at night herself to use the bathroom! Her bed stays dry ! She is often offended by the reminders to go and she is nearly deaf so that I have to practically shout at her . She is such a sweet and appreciative lady and I hate to embarrass her, but if I ignore the problem, my house will smell of urine and she will be wet and smelly much of the time. Any suggestions?
Thanks!

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I almost forgot. Thanks Jaye for the suggestion about a possible UT infection. We have had her checked for this before, but maybe we need to do it again.
Thanks,
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UTIs are so common in people with incontinent problems or otherwise poor hygiene habits. I have my mom use those peri wipes diligently every morning! I think I must be lucky that she generally follows step by step instructions without much (if any, usually) fuss.

Reminder to those of us who still have time: Do those Kegels daily!
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Reminders, depends and your caring attitude....geez...I can't offer any suggestions but keep doin' what your doin'...keep that caring attitude and God given patience...good luck...I'm sorry I didn't have an answer to help
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Thanks for all input and support! I guess I was just wondering how others handle this.
Yes, I already provide and assist her to wear her Depends with extra poise pads attached. We put a washable pad on all chairs and beds for her. She takes meds for several health issues including Myeloma. I know she just doesn't always have control or an awareness. I certainly don't blame her, I'll probably be in her situation someday myself. I guess I just needed to tell someone. It makes me sad, because she was always such a carefully groomed lady! I often console myself, that her memory lapse is a good thing, because if she really knew her lack of grooming she'd be so humiliated!
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The suggestions to add a Poise pad inside the Depend is not really a solution, but it is a common mistake. Poise pads like all incontinence pads have a moisture barrier on the back of them. These pads are made to go inside cotton underwear, and the moisture barrier keeps your underwear dry. If you put Poise in your disposable underwear then it is not going to leak in the disposable underwear but out the leg opening. Booster pads are made to go inside of the disposable underwear and can be changed before the disposable underwear needs to be changed if caught in time. Once the booster pad fills up it will leak evenly into the disposable underwear. Hope this was helpful.
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I would get her depends and put some pads on her chair... Bless her heart she is probably really embrassed. I think that their pelvic floor muscles become weakened and we all know that gravity is NOT our friend!!!..take care J
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a thought might be that she has developed a bladder or kidney infection... I might be worth checking out... some of those nice soft wipes for her peri area could be helpful too... again I wish you the best, take care, J
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Yes, more than likely it is a UTI (urinary tract infection). My MIL had them a lot while she was here and I'm sure she still has them. Yes, she also has had problems with her kidneys (an inherited thing). We did the same thing with her bed and 2 chairs and couch. Even if the dr. does a test in the office and it turns out negative, request that they send it on to the lab to be tested. My MIL's test in the drs. office turned out negative and they sent it on to the lab--it came back positive. So she was put on antibiotics to clear up the infection. My MIL cared how she looked all the time, but Alzheimer's robbed her of her memory. Good luck, laurelpatrice.

Take care, Laura
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Yes, more than likely it is a UTI (urinary tract infection). My MIL had them a lot while she was here and I'm sure she still has them. Yes, she also has had problems with her kidneys (an inherited thing). We did the same thing with her bed and 2 chairs and couch. Even if the dr. does a test in the office and it turns out negative, request that they send it on to the lab to be tested. My MIL's test in the drs. office turned out negative and they sent it on to the lab--it came back positive. So she was put on antibiotics to clear up the infection. My MIL cared how she looked all the time, but Alzheimer's robbed her of her memory. Good luck, laurelpatrice.

Take care, Laura
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Keep her in paper panties and change them frequently. No need to discuss much.
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