How do you cope with a mother who is starting to have more and more day-time bathroom accidents?

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How do you cope with a mother who at 91-years-old is starting to have more and more day-time bathroom accidents? We give frequent bathroom reminders, and help with depends/diapers. She seems so unaware at times and yet will get up several times at night herself to use the bathroom! Her bed stays dry ! She is often offended by the reminders to go and she is nearly deaf so that I have to practically shout at her . She is such a sweet and appreciative lady and I hate to embarrass her, but if I ignore the problem, my house will smell of urine and she will be wet and smelly much of the time. Any suggestions?
Thanks!

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The suggestions to add a Poise pad inside the Depend is not really a solution, but it is a common mistake. Poise pads like all incontinence pads have a moisture barrier on the back of them. These pads are made to go inside cotton underwear, and the moisture barrier keeps your underwear dry. If you put Poise in your disposable underwear then it is not going to leak in the disposable underwear but out the leg opening. Booster pads are made to go inside of the disposable underwear and can be changed before the disposable underwear needs to be changed if caught in time. Once the booster pad fills up it will leak evenly into the disposable underwear. Hope this was helpful.
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Keep her in paper panties and change them frequently. No need to discuss much.
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Yes, more than likely it is a UTI (urinary tract infection). My MIL had them a lot while she was here and I'm sure she still has them. Yes, she also has had problems with her kidneys (an inherited thing). We did the same thing with her bed and 2 chairs and couch. Even if the dr. does a test in the office and it turns out negative, request that they send it on to the lab to be tested. My MIL's test in the drs. office turned out negative and they sent it on to the lab--it came back positive. So she was put on antibiotics to clear up the infection. My MIL cared how she looked all the time, but Alzheimer's robbed her of her memory. Good luck, laurelpatrice.

Take care, Laura
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Yes, more than likely it is a UTI (urinary tract infection). My MIL had them a lot while she was here and I'm sure she still has them. Yes, she also has had problems with her kidneys (an inherited thing). We did the same thing with her bed and 2 chairs and couch. Even if the dr. does a test in the office and it turns out negative, request that they send it on to the lab to be tested. My MIL's test in the drs. office turned out negative and they sent it on to the lab--it came back positive. So she was put on antibiotics to clear up the infection. My MIL cared how she looked all the time, but Alzheimer's robbed her of her memory. Good luck, laurelpatrice.

Take care, Laura
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UTIs are so common in people with incontinent problems or otherwise poor hygiene habits. I have my mom use those peri wipes diligently every morning! I think I must be lucky that she generally follows step by step instructions without much (if any, usually) fuss.

Reminder to those of us who still have time: Do those Kegels daily!
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All i could suggest is to take a deep breath and try to relax and not to worry. It is hard not to, but our loved ones can't help it and it is not cool for them to be embarrassed. Although it's hard to, sometimes i guess you just have to smile and try to distract your relative by starting a conversation and changing the subject....
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Are a lot of doctors prescribing antibiotics as a preventative measure for bladder infections? (I personally drink cranberry juice when I feel I might be heading toward a bladder infection.)

Is the need for preventative antibiotics based on having a weakened immune system and/or another condition? Based on having tried treatments for a UTI that have failed? I'm just curious to understand; had not heard of this till now (other than antibiotics which are given to patients with certain conditions prior to having dental work, etc.)
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We use disposable external catheters ('day catheters') at night for my dad. After we found the right size, they have been working well and staying on. This was a life-saver for my mom, who had been getting up 6-8 times during the night to help my dad to the bathroom.

He normally wears pads only during the day. The catheters have also come in handy for really long car trips or appointments, once or twice a year--in this case he wears a strap around his ankle to hold the catheter apparatus.

I believe there are disposable external catheters for women, too. I don't know how practical they may or may not be.
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I don't know how your mother spends the day, but my mom watches a lot of tv, so after each program or movie it's time to get up and either go to the bathroom or get a drink. It has become a routine, since she also has regular programs she watches, and it works well for her. She now knows she has to go every two hours. Good Luck.
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Purchase the extra-absorbent\ designed for overnight adult paper panties. Put them on her round the clock. Change frequently. Don't talk about it, just do it.
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