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Your question is THE question of the forum. The cost of care is outrageous, with no reduction in sight. That being said, your profile says you are caregiving for your husband with dementia/ALZ and you are approaching Burn Out, as well as him now not handling your money wisely.

Does he have an actual diagnosis by a medical doctor of cognitive decline/memory loss, dementia, ALZ?

Are you his durable PoA? The important question now is: who has the legal authority to act on his behalf if he is no longer competent to do so?

If he has not assigned a PoA I urge you to get him to do so (and if you are his caregiver, and willing, it can be you with a similarly trustworthy, willing and younger "back-up" PoA named in the papers). If put in place then you (or the PoA) can start managing the finances more responsibly.

Are you willing to consider transitioning to a senior community with him that has a continuum of care? Starts with IL, then AL, MC and LTC. It may be "easier" to get him to go if you go with him.

Then there's the cost. I strongly suggest you and your husband invest in a 1 or 2 hr consult with an elder law/estate planning attorney who has experience with Medicaid. There are important things to know regarding qualifying. Many people are caught off guard because they made assumptions or were completely ignorant of things that caused a long delay or disqualification. I wish you success in moving forward with your husband.
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Some folks have pensions and savings that they use to fund old age care. Those that do not may be eligible for Medicaid.

Start with a call to your local Area Agency on Aging to see what support is available.
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Some have accumulated wealth through many years of well paying jobs or owning their own business, owning property and saving and investing. Others have inherited property and wealth. The majority of people though cannot afford the cost of assisted living or memory care for an extended period of time. Maybe a good percentage can afford a year or maybe 2 of private pay, but eventually the money will run out and then they would have to find a place that takes Medicaid. According to reports I've seen, about half of Americans will not be able to afford assisted living when they will need it. The option (or perhaps goal) for these people becomes qualifying for state Medicaid and getting support through local social services or a Nursing home. Of course to get into the nursing you must need a higher level of care that an assisted living facility.
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