Her history: single, PTSD, depression, multiple spinal fusion, chronic pain, chronic migraine, daily chemo for marrow disorder, arthritis, bladder incontinence, chronic sodium deficiency issues, ibs, high blood pressure. 1 dog.
I moved her to my house because she couldn't find housing in rural Nebraska and she was told her apartment was being sold, she would have been homeless. I had to have spinal surgery 7 months after she moved in. We remodeled basement for her in our new home. I was unable to spend the amount of time with her she wanted because I was bed ridden. The fusion graft gave me graft vs. host disease, I developed lupus, and 2 discs herniated within 2months. She wigged out, saying she was moving out so my husband could rent the basement and make some money (???) I am not her keeper and I understood she wasn't comfy with my situation. I helped her move out best I could. She left her dog to live with me because the dog had gotten used to being with my dogs(???) I tried to talk her out of it...but I kept the dog...she felt to strongly about it and I thought I was helping her out. Since she moved out her health deteriorated I almost lost her twice to salt deficiency. She is in a complex with senior activities and they all talk about her (???) No, she refused to interact. She wants me to come clean for her and then sends me home right away. My sisters bought her another dog but she calls me to take the dog to my house so she can rest and reboot. I do. She complains the dog loves me more than her. She won't come over for holidays or says she will and cancels an hour before festivities begin. Then complains about how much she misses the other siblings in other states instead of appreciating...ME. She is upset her life didn't work out like it should have and is jealous of mine. I irrationally feel like she is punishing me. Her excuse for everything is that she is in pain and I have no idea how bad off she is...but I do. She will go to the emergency room at 5pm but not the clinic at 4pm (which is 70 feet from her front door) The emergency Dr. yells at ME for not bringing her earlier. I drive 8 miles to her apartment to drive her across the street, or she calls life alert (???) I cook, shop, bathe her, do her laundry when she lets me...to be told I have a life and I should be doing something with my husband. When I don't come to clean she calls me days later and has saved 4 or 5 trash bags of potty pads and diapers for me to drive in to throw in the dumpster. She has a cleaning lady and sends her away because she doesn't feel good (???) She begs me to take control of her medical treatment and medicines...(to tell me I am a Nazi nurse). For all this she tells me I have to understand how she grew up and how hard everything is for her...and I listen. she then tells me how I spoil her and how wonderful I am and how lucky she is and that she loves me unconditionally and I am her best production (???) She has no dementia or Alzheimer's. Most times anymore I just tell her I am going home then and she should call when she needs me. Shortly after I leave she calls one of my sisters...I get the what's wrong with mom call...but they really don't want to hear anything negative...so I give just the facts. All I want to do is scream. I believe my mother is trying to get me to put her in a home so she doesn't have to make that decision on her own. If she did it to herself she could only blame herself....NO, I would still be at fault somehow. This is all so crippling to me. I do feel better putting it down somewhere though.