Follow
Share

My mother is 82 and driving me mad with all her silly comments. When you tell her you are worried about losing your job she laughs and is now saying Covis as she calls it, is changing the weather and it’s the virus that’s making April cold. I get angry with her and tell her to stop being silly. I’m getting that I don’t want to listen to her anymore and she is driving me mad. Is it just me? I just can’t agree with her when she comes away with stupid comments. She lives by herself and has Carers. Her statement today was that one of her Carers has taken her sterident for false teeth 🤦‍♀️ and I get angry and tell her that nobody is going to steal that rubbish from her and she disagrees with me saying she knows best arghhhhhh

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
It's not easy dealing with dementia, so the best thing to do is to keep your 'conversations' short & sweet as possible. When your mother starts making ridiculous comments, change the subject. I don't tell my mother ANYTHING about my worries or concerns b/c all she cares about is herself & I know that. So if I start bringing myself into the conversation, it will definitely irritate me (more than usual) when she turns the subject back onto herself.

She will also tell me things like the caregivers have stolen her old bras, as if young girls would WANT a 94 year old woman's old used brassieres! Come on! But then, you really just can't argue with dementia b/c it just causes even MORE arguing since they insist on being right all the time! If I say black, she says white; then I'll agree it's white and she's saying it was gray all along. So, I'll get off the phone before my head explodes! :)

Try sticking to 'neutral' subjects (if there is such a thing) and let all the gibberish roll of your back as much as you possibly can. Maybe cut down the amount of contact you have with mom, or take a 'vacation' for a week; I've been known to tell mine that DH and I are going to the mountains for a week away from everything and will be incommunicado when I need a rest from all the insanity that comes with dementia!

Good luck!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Don’t tell her so much. She’s lost reasoning and judgment, she cannot help her comments. Anger isn’t going to change her, but it certainly isn’t good for you. I wish you calm and peace
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Maybe try putting yourself on autopilot and answer "uh huh" or "yup" to her comments that are nonsensical. Don't waste your emotional energy on responding and expecting her to somehow be her "prior" self. She can't help it and it doesn't help you. Do what is easiest for you. May you receive peace in your heart.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Stop talking to her for a week or two and give yourself a break.

She has cares, so you do not need to be at her beck and call.

It is okay to set and enforce boundaries for dealing with your aged parents, dementia or not.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

My mom laughs at silly things, too, but won’t deal with her reality. That is part of the MCD she was diagnosed with 1.5 years ago. It won’t get better. I do catch myself saying “she wasn’t like this before“. Then, I remember, this is the way it will be. She won’t “return“ to her old self.

I know these annoying, silly comments from mom are signs that her brain is not working as it used to. We don’t have long conversations and I’ve set up boundaries because I don’t want to feel angry at her all the time.

Repeat to myself “it’s the disease”.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

From what your profile says, your mother has dementia/Alzheimer's, which means her brain is broken. She cannot help what she thinks or says. Perhaps if you educate yourself more on the disease, you won't find yourself getting so angry all the time. Teepa Snow has some great videos on You Tube you can watch about dementia/Alzheimer's, and the book The 36 Hour Day is a great read as well. She's not intentionally trying to make you mad, and I think once you really understand and grasp that, your patience with her will improve.
Things with your mothers mind will only continue to get worse, so if you're wanting to continue to be in her life, you're going to have to figure out how to deal with her without the anger. The easiest solution at this point, would be just to agree with her, no matter how silly it may seem or sound to you, as there is no reasoning with a brain that is broken. I wish you well.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Thank you x
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter