Last night, my aunt who I care for, fell down when I went out. She hasn't fallen in over a year and she is usually very good about it. I found her after she fell about 8 hours later when I came home from work. She hasn't been able to stand on her own but she can walk with a walker. (Before she walked just fine without any type of assistance) she does need help standing sometimes. She also is speaking slower than normal.
She says she isn't in any pain that's new to her, she still is 100% there mentally and she even acknowledged that she is speaking a little slower than normal.
I'm afraid she might have had a minor stroke or something. She also doesn't want to go to the doctors but I will be trying to convince her later if she feels better with walking.
The thing is, I had her evaluated by EMTs. I saw this fall and _knew_ it wasn't as bad as other falls I have witnessed my mother take and not be seriously injured. I was most concerned about injuries to the rotor cuff and possibly broken wrist bones, injuries she had suffered in a previous fall on concrete 20 years previously and on a more recent fall earlier in the year. The senior EMT assured me she was only bruised. But she had a "hidden" fracture that could have caused more problems.
Your mother needs to be evaluated by a doctor, even if you need to use a little manipulation to make it happen. If your mother is like mine and won't go for her own well being, you might try the "I would feel so guilty if anything happened and I hadn't taken you to the doctor.." line. Mothers will do things for their daughters they won't do for themselves.
She could have another stroke and she could have a hair line fracture in her Hip or Pelvis like my sister that fell and didn't want to go to the Dr then she fell again a few months later and want able to get up, stand or walk with a walker so an ambulance had to take her to the Hospital and she had multiple fractures in her Pelvis.
When you have a broken hip, you can be bleeding internally.
It may have been a stroke.
She is probably quite dehydrated after being 8 hours with no food or water.
If you are caring for her a trip to the ER would be a non negotiable trip
I reached out to my OTHER brother, who has FPOA and he is going to have a 'chat' with YB about this very thing. I can talk myself blue in the face and they do not hear me.
YB talked mom into believing the falls were due to low blood sugar, and they may well be, but until a DR. weighs in on this--I'm not satisfied. I think I've posted enough about the screwed up dynamics in my family that anyone could pick up that 'I' have zero say in mom's care--all this fuss b/c YB is SO stubborn!
Personally, I think she needs to be evaluated every time she falls, as she does 'faint' and is unconscious for some length of time with each fall. And she seems much more addled afterwards for several days.
She lives with YB and he is an EMT, so somewhat qualified to assess her, but I can see how easily he could miss a fracture or brain bleed. He doesn't have x-ray vision, for crying out loud.
I can't force her to do ANYTHING, so I simply state my concerns and walk away. One of these days she WILL break something and that will start a whole new life for her. Yes, I GET that she doesn't want to go to the Dr or the ER---but she did ask me to ask my Dr. SIL to 'run by after work' and look her over. I said that was a hard NO! as he is crazy overworked as it is. And he would send her to the ER, so I said "cut the middle man, just go!".
Her long time doctor just died of ALS, very sad, but she has made no moves to get a new dr and she needs to. YS did a lot of research and found her a geriatrician close by her house who would do 'pop in' visits--and YB told her he didn't want a new dr. So she is dr-less at the moment. AND has a ton of health issues.
I know that her deep down fear is that if she falls and really hurts herself, she will go to the hospital and never come home again---if she ever becomes wheelchair bound she cannot live at home any longer.
And other causes for the fall.
My GF fell last year. Still having problem with one leg...she broke a hip. Just had surgery.
Slow speech is sign of a stroke, could be the reason for her fall.
She finally said "well can't I just take a cab to Lenox Hill Hospital?". The police, neighbors and step-child all replied in unison "NO"!
She spent several days in a Cardiac Care Unit (she'd had a heart attack which likely caused the fall.) She spent 3 months in rehab.
Hope you've gotten her into care.
Part of her new care regimen is that she no longer be left alone in her condition w/o a caregiver to look after her while you are at work, that's my suggestion. Needing help getting up and requiring a walker to get around indicates a need for more help than you realize!
Good luck.
Forget about convincing her; call privately if you have to and explain that you don't want her to know you called. Make up a story: a neighbor heard something, wondered where you were and if your mother was okay...something reasonably realistic.
Or ask a neighbor to call for you, explaining your mother doesn't want to go but she absolutely needs to. The neighbor can ask for a wellness check, saying she heard your aunt cry out, or something realistic that can't be challenged.
PLEASE: DO IT NOW!
And start researching Life Alert systems. I researched, contacted suppliers and decided on one which also provided alarm systems. It was one of the best decisions I made. Dad had only to bend over and they called to determine if he needed assistance.
After one fall, it didn't occur to me to call them b/c Dad had called me and I called EMS on my way out to his house, but they called. I didn't think to check his caller ID before EMS came, and honestly hadn't yet become accustomed to relying on the service. The service called 14 !! times while we were in the ER.
We also had purchased a lock box for his house. A friend installed it, directly in the studs next to the door. We opted for that instead of a lock that hangs over the door b/c a friend told us the lock could be sawed off. I thought there wouldn't be enough room for that, so I tried and was able to get a saw between the prongs of the lock. So I bought one that needs to be screwed into the studs next to the door.
If you don't have a medical history for your aunt, I'd prepare one ASAP. If this happens again, EMS would need to have information included in a medical history, including your contact numbers, Medicare number, medical history and a lot more.
If she is her right mind, as you say, how was she not able to get help for 8 hours?