I'm sick myself and the help caring for my Mom is an issue. How do I not lose my temper?

PSW's don't do any of that stuff. That is housework. A "personal support worker" takes care of the patient only. Read the agency contract. If you have a Live-In this should all be part of a written contract on day one. It would actually create less friction if the responsibilities are clearly divided and only the L_I does the housework. No finger pointing and yelling. If the L_I can't understand English, you need a translator for sure.

If you are sick yourself, you need some respite care, if not for the patient, then at least for yourself. Call your MD and explain your situation, your desperation and see what help is available.

Well I know what I would do with that list!!!!!!!!!!!!
Simplify it
Keep only the cleaning products you want used in the house
List those products and their purpose ie toilet brush handle with disposable head one in each bathroom.
Clean bathrooms daily
Wipe counters and mop kitchen floor every afternoon.
Change bed linens, towels etc every ? your choice
Thoroughly clean upstairs rooms Tues and Thurs, downstairs Wed and Fri.
Tidy, empty bins and dust daily.
It won't be perfect but also does not insult anyone's intellegence.
As far as the diet is concerned.
Work with a dietitian and come up with a simple menu for mother. Unless the caregiver needs to diet if you require her to eat with mother she should have the same menu but have additional food available in the kitchen or her room.
You can translate your instruction on the internet, it is free. Give both the English and foreign version because the translation may not be exact.
Your LI should have at least 1 1/2 days free per week and a couple of hours in the afternoon.
There should not be much need for interaction between the LI and ourside help unless they need to co-operate over mothers care ie lifting.
You may need to lower your standard a little to achieve peace in the house and reduce your own stress. Don't be breathing down their necks the whole time and they may surprise you. If not time for a staff change.

Well, if this hired person is not "getting it", can you have a sit-down and a list? I don't know what to say, but I understand the huge frustration you are feeling. Why do you not want to replace her? Or cannot?

Go to the tab above Senior Living, click on Home Care and enter your zipcode, there has to be something better available to you. Good Luck.

Someone not reading lists is either not literate or is blowing off your concerns. Are there too many things rather than the big thing on the lists? Can you share some of the lists, or just what is truly non-negotiable of them?

I guess I should add another possibility... It's kind of a Southern cultural thing. If you don't know how to do something or you think it should not be asked of you, many if not most people will be too "polite" to say so, and will just not do it. I have found this can be overcome, but it takes a LOT of tactfulness to make sure they do not feel threatened. I'm personally not good at non verbal communication and unwritten rules, so it took me a looong time to really figure this out.

Thank you for the replies!
pamstegman: I am in Ontario, Canada.

vstefans: There may be too many things but they are repeated.

Here is one:
[ ... START OF MENU ...]
MY MOTHERS MENU (SHORT) CHANGED MAY 2014
*** DO NOT USE THE OVEN ***
Tuesday, May 27, 2014

MY MOTHER SHOULD BE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT! KEEP QUANTITIES LOW.
SALT RESTRICTION
Do NOT add SALT (OR SEASONING)
NO SOUP NO NOODLE CUPS, NO CRACKERS

BREAKFAST:
ONE SOFT-BOILED EGG
AND
EITHER CEREAL OR BREAD

LUNCH:
ONE SANDWICH: {UNSALTED TUNA FISH, OR UNSALTED SALMON OR EGG)
OR
A SMALL SALAD

SNACK:
PUDDING OR JELLO
FRESH FRUIT AND FRESH VEGETABLES.
ONLY

DINNER: (7:00 – 7:30 PM) HALF OF A FROZEN DINNER ONLY
ONE HALF (1/2) ONLY of a frozen DINNER (White freezer in basement hall)
Put OTHER HALF into fridge (Please label – what it is and the date)
PLEASE EAT WITH HER. SHE REALLY LIKES THE COMPANY!
IF YOU HAVE A REASON NOT TO SIT WITH HER TELL ME.

DESSERT: ICE CREAM – ONLY use ice creams with “MY MOTHER’S NAME” on lid or label
DO NOT give ice cream with “MY NAME” ON THE LID or ON THE Label
(YOU CAN MIX THE ICE CREAM WITH PUDDING)
NO CAKE (much of the cake has expired)
[... END OF MENU ...]

vstefans: Thank you
I have been patiently repeating rewriting, showing examples, (And ending up doing it myself - at times) If it is the latter I don't know what to do?
I have lists but on rereading them I think they may be overwhelming to someone.

I have the menu above.
Thank you all so much!

Oh my, I got exhausted just reading the instructions.... no, really. I'm not familiar with the term PSW and what a PSW is suppose to do.... but 2 hours a day isn't enough time to get everything done correctly, the PSW would be burnt out in a very short time. Sounds like she already is.

From everything you like to have kept clean around the house you need a professional housecleaner once a week who can jump in and clean her own way [without instructions] and still to your satisfaction.

XTANATX, just honest feedback, that is a little too much specific detail - they are probably terrifed they will do something out of order or wrong and OMG what if they flush only 5 times not 6... You may do better to specify the things you do NOT want - e.g. "no bleach, we are sensitive" and don't keep any handy either. I have cleaning people once a month and they are not perfect, but they do a nice job and they do it their way - for example, I actualy *like* bleach and Tilex to kill mold dead because I am more allergic to mold than irritated by chlorine...but they use the stuff that they like. They might even feel insulted by being specifically instructed to clean the dish racks, though I am sure you wrote that because you found someone had not done it at least once. .

Years ago I almost laughed when a colleague of mine who used a cleaning service more often commented about how they "weren't as thorough as I would be" but I knew to bite my tongue, because what that reflects is just the guilt of not being able to do it all ourselves. Reality is that you can't totally have it done your way unless you are either doing it yourself, or you are Donald Trump. And yes, I will have to keep saying that to myself when I go behind hubby and clean out the sink drain, microwave the dish sponge that still has food particles and is starting to smell, and put away everything from all over the counter, after he claims he has "done the dishes"... LOL.