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I just got off the phone with Dad's current ALF, and all they need is a date for transition for dad (15 days notice). I want to get things done as quickly as possible, but I have one major concern... how am I going to keep Dad occupied during the move? Since Dad is no longer in ADC and doesn't participate in group activities at the ALF, this is going to create quite a dilemma when I need to transfer his belongings. He will seriously melt down if he sees me carting his stuff out of his room. I have NO IDEA how I am going to do this. I don't have a support system, so there's no one I can call to take him out for a few hours. Any suggestions on how to make this seamless?

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Would it be possible to take him to the new place as activities are going on, maybe on the pretense of it being like trying out a new kind of ADC, get the staff on board in advance, and then move his things in as he’s already there? I may be shooting in the dark, but I remember him liking ADC so maybe he’d be receptive to going and this could give you a chance to get him moved without him witnessing it.
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Daughterof1930 what an ingenius idea! I think this would accomplish a lot... it would get him involved in some daytime activities with his new neighbors as well as give me time to get some of his things moved.

As for moving things, he rarely pays attention to the closet, so I am going to start sneaking things out gradually within the next couple of weeks. I want to bring his current clothing chest (a $50 piece I found in a thrift store), but it desperately needs to be repainted. Not sure how I'm going to tackle that one.

Stay tuned for stories... here we go!!
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I've already started the covert operation of moving the clothes in his closet. Unfortunately, the only meal Dad has in the dining room is breakfast, so that's not an option. He rarely leaves his room, so this is going to be tough.

I thought about paying someone to sit with him, but since he doesn't spend time in the common areas (he says its too cold, and he doesn't want to wear his oxygen tank), this one is going to be really difficult.

The only place he really goes now is the disgusting diner every Saturday... with me. No one else even bothers. I wish his favorite nurse could do something.

If nothing else, he's just going to have to melt down, but he will SERIOUSLY get in the way. He always wants to "help" and gets upset when I can't find anything for him to do with his limited abilities.

I thought about sending him to another ADC near the new place ($65 isn't bad), but I don't want to open that can of worms. It's times like these that I really hate I have NO support system. I've had to move him alone the last two times there was a change. I'm trying not to spend too much money, but I'm going to have to pay someone to move the furniture. This will definitely be interesting.
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"Seamless" w/o any meltdowns--I wish you luck! I think Daughter1930 has a great idea. You can't take him home, he has to be watched, right?....and the no support system makes this daunting.

I think trying to have him stay at the new place is a great idea--try to see if that will float. Can you pre-pack as much of his stuff as possible, to make the move swift? Do you also have to move furniture? Don't overload yourself...this is a time to get all the help you can--movers, if necessary, and make the change very quickly.

But, just in case, I'd plan on a meltdown and just be prepared for it. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Good luck with this--it took us 3 years to move mom & dad. Mother DID have a meltdown that required an ER trip for something to simply knock her out. Actually, if she had had some sedatives, we would have pre-loaded her with those. Not a bad idea--21 years after the fact.
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We did the move in one day. Took Mom to the NH and my daughter sat with her. Then we loaded up. I never took a lot to the room. A dresser, TV and stand, twin bed, clothes and toiletries. There are no family friends who could help. Maybe start taking his clothes and leaving what he needs for the last two days. Leave a couple of towels. Can u do it while he has dinner? My Mom was pretty out of it by the time she was moved to NH. So I was able to start moving small stuff.
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