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At 101 Mom having ALZ...is hard enough, but the Paranoia is so hard to deal with. Trying to ease Mom's mind is so difficult...can't make her understand. Trying to make Mom believe otherwise is frustrating to both of us. Trying to change the subject works for a very short time...her mind is set and I don't know how to make it better. At her facility, caregivers come in at night to 'check' on residents...Mom sleeps with one eye open because she believes they're coming in to 'shop' and steal from her. This has been going on for a very long time...Mom doesn't sleep at night as a result she's exhausted during the day. The memory is gone and she hides things so 'they' won't steal them. I find them and her response is 'they brought them back'....I want to scream...Anyone have any ideas to help me?

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What if you tried telling her that it was so kind of her to loan such and such to someone? And how wonderful it is that they returned it so quickly. Maybe if she thinks that she has helped someone out, the paranoia will ease. Those little white lies that relieve everybody's minds.

My favorite that I am using right now during sundowning and Mom worried her daughters are lost, or in danger, or just out hanging with the boys is to tell her that sisters are on vacation on a sunny beach. Then tell her they will be back tomorrow. It works so well, it astonishes me.
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Yes kula I agree with Eyerishlass. My Mom believes things that are not true and I used to have these ridiculous conversations with her where I felt like I was chiding a little child for lying. Now I just go along with it. If what she believes is not harmful to herself or others then Its not important. I'd rather not spend our precious time together arguing.
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Thanks so much for your response...It's so hard...I know you're right...many times, I'm in a fantasy where it's all make believe...and I have to play along..I'm trying and I have to learn to NOT give a quick corrective response, but to think about what's being said, HER reality and then I try to respond accordingly. Who would have guess at my age (67) I have to LEARN how to talk to my mother..Thanks again.
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You won't be able to "make mom believe". She's unable to and it's only going to drive your crazy while you try. That's her reality, it's what she believes and she's always going to argue with you about it. Just accept it. This is what she believes. Instead of trying to talk her out of it tell her how relieved you are that she has her stuff.

You will go crazy if you try to convince her that the sky is blue when she insists that it's red.
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