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This has been an issue since she moved in with us almost 5 years ago. There is NO reasoning with her about this. She says it isn't hard for her to do ( but it is...she has severely arthritic knees which have reduced her mobility around the house ); she just doesn't "feel like it" and doesn't think it is necessary because she hardly does anything anymore. It has been 3 months since her last shower...the longest she has ever waited. She says if we get someone to help her shower, she won't let them. Obviously there is some dementia here at work. Any ideas?

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I had a similar situation with my 90 year old mother who has dementia and arthritis. I asked her multiple times to bathe and got a lot of excuses but no bathing. I finally told her on no uncertain terms that she has to bathe in order to continue living at home. That worked and when she got into the bath tub I helped her bathe and didn’t ask if she needed help. Sometimes you just have to reverse roles and take control instead of being nice and asking them to do things.
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You can always tell her that she needs to shower or she will have to move to a facility.

Don't argue, just tell her it's time to bath and go help her get it done. Present it as a done, no choice, time to get it done, you need help and I am going to help you.
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