I was in the process of graduating from college again when my husband had an accident now he's been diagnosed with sundowners Parkinson's, has heart trouble. He is 82 and I'm 61. It's been a crazy roller coaster ride for 18 months and I just feel like I'm losing it.
See an elder lawyer about splitting ur assets. His split going to his care. When its almost gone you apply for Medicaid for him. Once he is on Medicaid, you remain in the home, allowed 1 car and get enough or all of your monthly income of SS and any pensions, to live off of.
His Parkinsons is going to worsen and his Dementia will too.
So make sure you're hiring in home help until he needs to be placed, and while the help is there you get out and do things that bring you joy.
You must remember that you matter in this equation as well, and I wish you the very best as you get things figured out and while you find some balance along this journey with the man you love.
God bless you.
How long has he had Parkinsons? Does he have Lewy Body dementia? Your profile says he has many other health issues as well.
Are you his DPoA? If not, why not? If not, is anyone his PoA? Getting help for him will be greatly facilitated if this legal paperwork is in place. You should also have a DPoA for yourself. Is this a second marriage? Do you have kids together, or from prior marriages? More info on this would be helpful.
What are your financial means? In the short-term you should hire in-home aids to help. You can privately hire or go through an agency.
You can contact the county to see if he qualifies for any in-home services. There is a thing called an Elder Waiver, so ask the social worker for your county about this. Dept of Health and Human Services is where you look on your county's website.
Getting the legal piece into place before his cognition is too far gone will be really important. You can consult with an elder law attorney about this. You can also consult with a Medicaid Planner for your state. Most states' Medicaid programs only pay for LTC. With his Parkinsons, he may qualify for this sooner rather than later (LTC is medically assessed as necessary by his doctor).
You need to take care of yourself. If this means spending money on in-home help to keep your health and sanity, then do it. This will be a marathon, not a sprint, until you figure out where this is all headed and how you can get control of it. I wish you success!
Does he qualify for Medicaid for a nursing home? Or can he afford self-pay in assisted living?
Unfortunately, there may be no other options.
Sometimes we just need to think about ourselves, if he is placed you can regain a part of your life back, you are entitled to do this.
Sending support your way,