I had a hard time with my dad. When doctor put him on prescription meds for memory (Aricept), we were able to explain to him that the medicine absolutely would not work if he continued to drink. He stopped because he realized how serious things were getting. He was still in fairly early stages of dementia at that point.
Backstory: my dad had become a later-in-life alcoholic. Sadly, he and my mom spent a lot of their retirement years sitting in the house drinking wine all day (starting at 7 AM and passing out mid day, then starting up again later). This was to the exclusion of food/nutrition. This lifestyle severely damaged them both. Dad was in a memory care facility by the time he was 78. Mom has trashed her equilibrium and started having bizarre falls around the age of 69. Now only 76, she has broken her hand (which never healed properly), her shoulder (which never healed properly) and most recently her back. She uses a walker and may end up in a wheelchair soon.
If I would have known this is the way they would choose to live I would have never moved back to this town. Now I feel stuck and wish there was a way to escape the fallout of their lifestyle. Run away if you can!!!
(((hugs, upstream))) Your burden is unique. The stress must be unreal. Commit yourself to creating regular breaks that are the opposite of “all that.” [Even if you just lock yourself in the bathroom for 5 minutes, put your fingers in your ears and sing a happy song!] You are strong and awesome. Take care of yourself.
Such a shame when children have to deal with Parents past decisions. How do you stop a long time drinker, don't think you can. He has to do it himself. No amount of talking is going to help. All you can do is refuse to contribute to the problem.
Why don't you see if there is a meeting near you for families of Alcoholics. It may help you find ways to help him.
Good Luck ! With the drinking I wish I had an answer! The people that like to drink sometimes always will drink hopefully slow down ..my dad drank but he only drank like 1 to4 beers at night towards the end ....I remember I had residents that would keep beer or wine in their little frige they never got like drunk but they did get tipsey the only thing that worrys me about the drinking is tooo much then we risk falls , gee willikers Wish I had an answer I cant get my husband to stop drinking beer!! Not to make a joke of it good luck
I got my mother's suicidal-level drinking to functioning alcoholic levels (functioning but if not for her other problems!) She is a whiskey user and at time of my starting her reduction she had 15 drinks a day.
I did everything you are not supposed to do. I hid the bottles after so much was imbibed, I openly shamed her for drinking more than two drinks in a row, and when she binged I surreptitiously diluted the bottles and her glasses so the binge was actually her normal level. I did this for a full year and her physical dependency stepped down so the urge to drink would be greatly reduced.
And it worked, my entire family is amazed because she has gone back to a level of use that from a decade ago (two to four drinks a day) and maintains that lower use level on her own.
Is he mobile? If he can't drive then get some smaller bottles and start stepping him down. If he has enough sense to ration what he has, you can greatly reduce intake this way.
Is he mobile and able to get the liquor but not totally with it? Dilute it by a quarter to a third and see if he notices.
Backstory: my dad had become a later-in-life alcoholic. Sadly, he and my mom spent a lot of their retirement years sitting in the house drinking wine all day (starting at 7 AM and passing out mid day, then starting up again later). This was to the exclusion of food/nutrition. This lifestyle severely damaged them both. Dad was in a memory care facility by the time he was 78. Mom has trashed her equilibrium and started having bizarre falls around the age of 69. Now only 76, she has broken her hand (which never healed properly), her shoulder (which never healed properly) and most recently her back. She uses a walker and may end up in a wheelchair soon.
If I would have known this is the way they would choose to live I would have never moved back to this town. Now I feel stuck and wish there was a way to escape the fallout of their lifestyle. Run away if you can!!!
How do you stop a long time drinker, don't think you can. He has to do it himself. No amount of talking is going to help. All you can do is refuse to contribute to the problem.
Why don't you see if there is a meeting near you for families of Alcoholics. It may help you find ways to help him.
I did everything you are not supposed to do. I hid the bottles after so much was imbibed, I openly shamed her for drinking more than two drinks in a row, and when she binged I surreptitiously diluted the bottles and her glasses so the binge was actually her normal level. I did this for a full year and her physical dependency stepped down so the urge to drink would be greatly reduced.
And it worked, my entire family is amazed because she has gone back to a level of use that from a decade ago (two to four drinks a day) and maintains that lower use level on her own.
Is he mobile? If he can't drive then get some smaller bottles and start stepping him down. If he has enough sense to ration what he has, you can greatly reduce intake this way.
Is he mobile and able to get the liquor but not totally with it? Dilute it by a quarter to a third and see if he notices.