My mother is 65. Is still able to do some stuff. She is a chain smoker and alcoholic. She still drives but finally recently went to the doctor. She is supposed to go to the cardiologist but refuses. Her hands turn blue, her feet swell, she coughs non stop, as of now hasn't eaten in 2 days because she nauseous. The past month she only gets out of bed when she has too. When she went to the doctor I know she didn't tell him any of this. I really believe he told her more, she just won't tell me. I really believe it's congestive heart failure as there is a family history. She's had many symptoms for years it's just getting worse. Any advice on how to handle this? I'm not sure if she honestly believes she's fine or is to scared to do anything about it
Choosing to forego medical care at 85 can be a sane decision.
Does she drive to get her own alcohol?
How did she come to live with you?
What are her finances?
What happens if (when?) she needs more than a place to stay? What kind of caregiving do you do for her now?
Would you go with her? If so, tell her. Maybe she would go with someone to hold her hand?